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Thread: Who Pays on the First Date? No One Knows Anymore, and Itís Really Awkward

  1. #31
    Shrieking Violet Sprockey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiftOfFlavor View Post
    For those that have separate bank accounts from their spouse - how do bills work? What about retirement planning?
    Does one partner make significantly more than the other?
    DH and I just put everything all into the same account. I don't understand how that would work...?
    or should I start a new thread?
    Bills: DH pays all of the household bills, (mortgage, utilities, cars) I pay for health ins, groceries, cell phones, kid stuff (clothes and school supplies), holidays.

    And we pay our own credit cards.

    It works out. He makes more money than I do.

    We both have retirement accounts that we will share when the time comes.

    I think it works because we both make a good salary, so there is no quibbling over where each of our dollars go.
    Money is never an issue in our marriage.
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  2. #32
    Heartless Wench Alice Chalmers's Avatar
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    When we got married there wasn't enough to split. We have always had joint everything so there is no paying issue but that's marriage, not dating.

    From conversations with my favorite young woman, it's not that big of a deal. A lot of guys around here still want to pay. If they don't offer, they each just get separate checks. It also helps that up here in the northern midwest, eating out isn't terribly expensive.

  3. #33
    Sitting on the couch eating bon bons! Eli's Avatar
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    If I were dating now, I would insist on splitting or taking care of the bill if I initiated the invite. However, DH usually always pays. He makes double what I do and has always made significantly more money even when we were dating. I do offer though. We have a joint account and separate accounts. Big household bills and expenses come from our joint account and we pay our individual bills/expenses with our separate accounts. That way he doesn't bitch when I get my hair cut and colored every 5 weeks or my nails done.



  4. #34
    Full Sponsor emmjay's Avatar
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    When we first started dating, he paid but I always offered and sometimes I would pay. We ended up combining everything before we got married because of our trip around the world. He moved in to my apartment and we lived off my (smaller) salary so he could put his entire salary into a joint savings account, which we then used to fund our trip. Then we got married before we came back to the US, so we just continued with everything combined. At this point, it would be more hassle than it's worth to start separating accounts.

  5. #35
    argh Nansel's Avatar
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    Dh paid for our first dates. He pretty much moved in after the first one and neither of us had much money, so we've been sharing money ever since.

    At restaurants here there is no problem at all splitting bills. Servers almost always ask, and if they don't it's no big deal to ask for separate.


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  6. #36
    Moderator Shaena's Avatar
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    He has his own account, and he pays all of the expenses that involve our business, except for his investments. He gives me money towards the household, I carry the insurance through my job as well. I pay all the household bills and fund our investments. As long as we take care of business we don't really discuss our purchases unless we are in need of a washing machine, car new windows etc!

  7. #37
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Chalmers View Post
    When we got married there wasn't enough to split. We have always had joint everything so there is no paying issue but that's marriage, not dating.

    From conversations with my favorite young woman, it's not that big of a deal. A lot of guys around here still want to pay. If they don't offer, they each just get separate checks. It also helps that up here in the northern midwest, eating out isn't terribly expensive.
    Something tells me that the people you hang out with are mor sensible and less hyper dramatic than many.

  8. #38
    Heartless Wench Alice Chalmers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Something tells me that the people you hang out with are mor sensible and less hyper dramatic than many.
    Yes, but a lot of this is local culture. We're very rural, very northern midwest. There's still a lot of old-fashioned stereotypical manliness. And two people can have dinner AND drinks for less than $50.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Chalmers View Post
    Yes, but a lot of this is local culture. We're very rural, very northern midwest. There's still a lot of old-fashioned stereotypical manliness. And two people can have dinner AND drinks for less than $50.
    Fact! I went to a local bar/restaurant Monday night. It was burger night. Burgers were $2 and any fixing was .25 extra. An order of fries was an extra 1.75. ......it was my treat ;).
    Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here, we might as well dance!

  10. #40
    Premier Sponsor Jasmine's Avatar
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    I always offer to pay my share, but my feeling is that, whoever initiates the date should pay for it.
    "Life is about dreams. Teaching is about making them come true."

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