Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: "So are you and XX still together?"

  1. #1
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    within a mile of home
    Posts
    50,286
    Rep Power
    432793

    "So are you and XX still together?"

    Let's say you run into someone you haven't seen in awhile - is it appropriate to ask if they're still with their partner?


    What prompted this was last weekend I saw my ex-SIL who I hadn't seen since my mother's funeral 10 years ago. She didn't even know who I was - but once she figured it out she asked if dh and I were still together. I thought that was a weird question. If I was curious I might say "How's dh?"

    She's always been a little blunt but I wondered if it was only me that thought it was an inappropriate question or not.

  2. #2
    Moderator Shaena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Grand Bois Du Nord
    Posts
    28,107
    Rep Power
    246900
    I don't know as it is inappropriate but certainly blunt and straight to the point!

  3. #3
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    20,982
    Rep Power
    506331
    Inappropriate.

    I would have just asked how your dh was.

  4. #4
    Premier Sponsor Peanut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Standing by the keg
    Posts
    11,159
    Rep Power
    297341
    Let's say you run into someone you haven't seen in awhile - is it appropriate to ask if they're still with their partner?
    In that flat-out a manner? No. I agree with cg that the best way to word it would be to ask how your husband/partner/whatever was doing and leave it open ended ( and possibly without a name attached. ) There are ways one possibly may work it into the conversation, though. "Whatever happened to _____?"

    "How is ______ doing these days?"

  5. #5
    Full Sponsor TapToTalk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    30,396
    Rep Power
    529922
    It's weird.

  6. #6
    kcunaC yzarC Lor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Canada, eh?
    Posts
    8,129
    Rep Power
    108817
    I think it's a weird question, I would probably ask something general like "How are things with your family" but asking it that way sounds like she assumed you would be divorced.

  7. #7
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Really crack-a-lackin language master
    Posts
    45,272
    Rep Power
    400089
    That is kind of rude. I always say something like, "So what's been going on with you?" If they got divorced AND WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, they can answer with that.

    The only time I have ever had anyone ask me if DH and I were still together, it was a girl from college who had a thing for him. I think she was checking to see if he was "open for business."

  8. #8
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    within a mile of home
    Posts
    50,286
    Rep Power
    432793
    Quote Originally Posted by Kimm View Post
    That is kind of rude. I always say something like, "So what's been going on with you?" If they got divorced AND WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, they can answer with that.

    The only time I have ever had anyone ask me if DH and I were still together, it was a girl from college who had a thing for him. I think she was checking to see if he was "open for business."

  9. #9
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    85,697
    Rep Power
    652088
    I would always assume a couple was still together unless I knew otherwise.

    Add me to the weird bench.

  10. #10
    Premier Sponsor
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    2,763
    Rep Power
    136744
    It's weird .....I have had extremely weird & rude questions asked since DH passed. I chuck it up to a lot of people have no social skills
    Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here, we might as well dance!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •