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Thread: I'm not a mother, and it's okay that I am not part of this day!

  1. #31
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tpatt100 View Post
    I always thought MD was the day you cook your mom breakfast if you were a kid
    My kid usually gets me McD's breakfast in bed and he used to give me something home made - now he buys me something small (Funkos usually) - I don't get a card unless it's home made. One of my friends got a new e-reader - which in my world is a birthday/Christmas present not a MD present. And as long as I live will never understand husbands buying wives things for MD.

    People need more sensitivity about this - not just for women who can't have children (or who lost children) - but also for children without mothers. Father's Day sucked hard for me as a kid - being forced to make some stupid FD craft every year even though I didn't have a father. And when I got old enough to say I don't have a dad the teacher would always tell me to make it for him anyways because he'd love to know I was thinking of him. I don't recall anyone ever reminding him to think of us /rant

  2. #32
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    I'm not a mother, and it's okay that I am not part of this day!

    My son brought Apple juice and Oreo cookies to his mom on Mother's Day.

    I was downstairs making bacon and pancakes

    I usually do the cooking anyways
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  3. #33
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    I see a school in BC has stopped doing anything to celebrate Mothers and Father's Day, and letting families celebrate at home in an effort to be more inclusive of all family types. It didn't occur to me until I read a lot of comments from women who said they were disappointed, as the gifts their kids made at school were the only things they got for MD, as they didn't have a partner or another adult to help the kids make or buy something.
    I sent home our plants we had planted after Spring Break for "Mother's Day". I painted their thumbprints on the flower pots, turned them into lady bugs and bumblebees, and wrote "thumb-body" loves you on the top. No mention of Mother's Day on that, or on our cards. The cards said "My love for you grows and grows" on the outside, and then "each and every day" on the inside. it had an interactive feature, with a plant that "grew" inside. I have 3 kiddos who are in the care of their grandparents, who have legal custody, and 2 others who are being raised by single dads. I told them that they could give the plant and card to anyone they wanted to gift them to. One little boy told me he wanted to give his to me, and he wanted to be my son. It made me sad for him. I encouraged him to give it to his grandmother. Then I read the story this weekend about the little boy who was beaten by his mom for giving a card to his grandmother. (not my student).

  4. #34
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
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    I get wished HMD all week because I cart Timmy around everywhere. I don't mind, it's weird but people are just trying to be nice. If I was, say his nanny, I would accept the sentiment on behalf of my "mothering" him or accept it because I enjoy celebrating MD with my mom.

    If I was having difficulty having kids, it would suck hard. That I totally get. I hate it for my neighbor-daughter, it's been a shit day for her since her mom left, even worse since she died. There are some people for whom this Hallmark holiday is beyond redemption. For others, maybe it will be better in later years.

    For me the ideal holiday would be if Dh took the kids somewhere and actually let me have the day off from work and emotional expectations of any sort. My friend and her mom went to the Yankee game, they were looking to sell an extra ticket. I would have loved to do that instead but it would have looked bad to abandon the kids, only one of whom is really in Mother's Day mode. And she really did make the most of it. Timmy doesn't know, the older two are wrapped up in their own things right now. Maybe I'll see if they have an extra ticket on Father's Day!

  5. #35
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamapalooza View Post
    Yet another day watching people try to be inclusive, but not too inclusive. You don't want offend anyone on your way to being inoffensive.

    I see a school in BC has stopped doing anything to celebrate Mothers and Father's Day, and letting families celebrate at home in an effort to be more inclusive of all family types. It didn't occur to me until I read a lot of comments from women who said they were disappointed, as the gifts their kids made at school were the only things they got for MD, as they didn't have a partner or another adult to help the kids make or buy something.

    There's no way to please everyone.
    I definitely wasn't offended. I'm just trying to start threads! It popped up a zillion times on my Facebook feed and thought it would be discussion worthy.

    Also, I generally avoid wishing a Happy Mother's Day to anyone unless I know they have kids. I'm cognizant of the fact that not only are plenty of women not mother's, but for many that's a very painful situation and a well-intended comment could be very painful. And I'm sure that's where most of the "fur-mom, maternal heart" mother's day wishes come from.

    I think there's more and more of what Steffy posed about though (what about meeeee!), and that's probably where some of this expanded "wishing happy" comes in, and that's what I think is both eyerolly and kind of condescending. You have a dog. You aren't a mom. You can love your dog like a human and all that (which I'm pretty sure we've debated ), but words mean things.

  6. #36
    Off to Work! Eli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Old Goat View Post
    My kid usually gets me McD's breakfast in bed and he used to give me something home made - now he buys me something small (Funkos usually) - I don't get a card unless it's home made. One of my friends got a new e-reader - which in my world is a birthday/Christmas present not a MD present. And as long as I live will never understand husbands buying wives things for MD.

    People need more sensitivity about this - not just for women who can't have children (or who lost children) - but also for children without mothers. Father's Day sucked hard for me as a kid - being forced to make some stupid FD craft every year even though I didn't have a father. And when I got old enough to say I don't have a dad the teacher would always tell me to make it for him anyways because he'd love to know I was thinking of him. I don't recall anyone ever reminding him to think of us /rant
    I love your McDonald's MD breakfast!



  7. #37
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    He knows the way to my heart for sure

  8. #38
    Where the flowers bloom Andee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tpatt100 View Post
    I always thought MD was the day you cook your mom breakfast if you were a kid
    I have choked down some really awful breakfasts because the kids wanted to make me Breakfast in Bed. Cheerios with a boat load of sugar, toast loaded down with honey...etc.... They laugh about it now that they are older and know how bad it was but I would pretend it was the best ever and how I would get so full that I couldn't eat another bite. lol

  9. #39
    Non-praying member Mamapalooza's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deeniereenie View Post
    I sent home our plants we had planted after Spring Break for "Mother's Day". I painted their thumbprints on the flower pots, turned them into lady bugs and bumblebees, and wrote "thumb-body" loves you on the top. No mention of Mother's Day on that, or on our cards. The cards said "My love for you grows and grows" on the outside, and then "each and every day" on the inside. it had an interactive feature, with a plant that "grew" inside. I have 3 kiddos who are in the care of their grandparents, who have legal custody, and 2 others who are being raised by single dads. I told them that they could give the plant and card to anyone they wanted to gift them to. One little boy told me he wanted to give his to me, and he wanted to be my son. It made me sad for him. I encouraged him to give it to his grandmother. Then I read the story this weekend about the little boy who was beaten by his mom for giving a card to his grandmother. (not my student).
    Right, this is how it was always dealt with for the kids who didn't have a mom or dad. I think the school missed an opportunity to teach the kids how to navigate these realities, and instead when for zero tolerance.

    I love the thumb-body loves you idea. My girl brought home a card with the same idea, and it made my day.



    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I definitely wasn't offended. I'm just trying to start threads! It popped up a zillion times on my Facebook feed and thought it would be discussion worthy.

    Also, I generally avoid wishing a Happy Mother's Day to anyone unless I know they have kids. I'm cognizant of the fact that not only are plenty of women not mother's, but for many that's a very painful situation and a well-intended comment could be very painful. And I'm sure that's where most of the "fur-mom, maternal heart" mother's day wishes come from.

    I think there's more and more of what Steffy posed about though (what about meeeee!), and that's probably where some of this expanded "wishing happy" comes in, and that's what I think is both eyerolly and kind of condescending. You have a dog. You aren't a mom. You can love your dog like a human and all that (which I'm pretty sure we've debated ), but words mean things.
    Sorry no, I was referring to the whole Mothers Day thing I see online, not you. And like above, people trying to sidestep any delicate situations without stepping on someone's toes in the process.
    "Wherever in the world much poverty is found, much religion is found also"

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