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Thread: I'm not a mother, and it's okay that I am not part of this day!

  1. #21
    nolite te bastardes carborundorum stellarfeller's Avatar
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    If there's pressure to have a good Mother's Day, isn't that kind of missing the point of the day? I mean, aren't mothers just supposed to have a relaxing day with no pressure?
    Mornings are for coffee and contemplation
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    Chief Hopper, Stranger Things

  2. #22
    Shrieking Violet Sprockey's Avatar
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    Of course, but it rarely works out that way for a lot of mothers

  3. #23
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    When I went to get my hair straightened on Thursday the woman who did my hair - whom I've never clapped eyes on - asked me what I was doing for Mother's Day. I guess she assumed that even if I didn't have kids at least I had a mother?? I told her that I would hang out with my kid and then I got the "Is your mom not here?" (geographically) and I just said no and let it go. She doesn't need to know my mother is dead . But I thought it was odd she would even bring it up. My coworkers wished me a happy Mother's Day on Friday when I left the office which I thought was odd too - I'm not their mother??

    Mostly I think Mother's Day/Father's Day are made up holidays and can't be arsed to get bent out of shape over them . I don't mind the attention from my own kid - but I don't need to be wished it by everyone who I didn't birth

  4. #24
    Full Sponsor Erin's Avatar
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    I'll admit, the whole fur-mama thing irks me. But, I admit that I have petty baggage wrapped around it. My ex-boyfriend from high school is married, and he and his wife are childless by choice. They are ALWAYS posting pictures of their "kids" and yesterday he posted this over-the-top prose to his wife on FB about how she is such an amazing mother to their dogs. Since I don't think mothering dogs is the same thing as mothering children, I roll my eyes. Hard. But I think that at least 49% of my annoyance is because he's my HS ex-boyfriend so he brings out the teenage-angst-and-drama in me.

  5. #25
    Where the flowers bloom Andee's Avatar
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    I just can't be bothered by how any one else chooses to spend a holiday. Each to their own.

    My brother in law texted me, "Happy Mother's Day" and I replied back with a "Thanks" and didn't think anything if it. He later texted me and said "You are one of the best." Dh and I both chuckled because bil knows I have a few issues with him and he will be coming this way and will be looking for a place to crash when he gets here. Best to start buttering me up now.

  6. #26
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellarfeller View Post
    If there's pressure to have a good Mother's Day, isn't that kind of missing the point of the day? I mean, aren't mothers just supposed to have a relaxing day with no pressure?
    I always have a relaxing day on MD and my birthday and a lot of other days. I think I am the rare woman though who feels no pressure related to holidays. Yesterday, DH and I played Scrabble twice, went for a hike, went for a drive, and drank a lot of margaritas. Seemed like a perfect day to me.

    eta we had the margaritas AFTER the drive.

  7. #27
    nolite te bastardes carborundorum stellarfeller's Avatar
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    Good to know!
    Mornings are for coffee and contemplation
    -
    Chief Hopper, Stranger Things

  8. #28
    Off to Work! Eli's Avatar
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    Not a mom and not by choice, but I think the whole MD thing has become so overblown. I'm not buying my mother diamonds or getting her a housekeeper. I got her a card and posted a picture and good wish on FB and called it a day. Same for FD.

    Now I love my cats and I treat them like kids, but I am not a mother. Nor do I need acknowledgement for having pets.

    Yesterday, two random strangers wished me a happy MD. While I just said thank you, I felt awkward about it. I actually had to self talk my way through why it was okay to accept the acknowledgement in the spirit with which it was intended. I hate having to explain to people why I don't have children, but why is it acceptable to even ask someone that?



  9. #29
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    I always thought MD was the day you cook your mom breakfast if you were a kid
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  10. #30
    kcunaC yzarC Lor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Chalmers View Post
    While it's certainly a matter of viewpoint, I really don't think it's a common thing for women who have never wanted children to go around co-opting Mothers' Day and proclaiming that it's totally the same since they have a dog. What I do see happening is a handful of people trying to include women who have a whole lot of hurt surrounding the issue, and to send the message that they matter.
    I agree, other people celebrating for any reason at all takes nothing away from my day and if it makes someone smile, why not?

    We are low key here, my family used to feel pressured to make special plans and it stressed me out, I would rather a spontaneous drive (sometimes we go for a drive and roll dice - even numbers mean we turn right and odd means turn left, we've ended up in some odd places ) or a lazy day involving my pj's.

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