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Thread: I'm not a mother, and it's okay that I am not part of this day!

  1. #11
    Chronically sleep deprived RN_mom's Avatar
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    I saw a lot of the "Happy Mother's Day to all the fur mamas out there" posts. Like I said, I doesn't really matter to me other than the disparity between the holidays. I think both holidays are fairly ridiculous in the same way I feel about Valentine's Day. The topic was brought up for debate and I have an opinion. On the whole it's not something I think much about at all.

  2. #12
    Heartless Wench Alice Chalmers's Avatar
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    A FB friend of mine also said she saw a lot of those posts and is all upset about MD being minimized. Obviously that's what you and she witnessed. I didn't, and never have.

  3. #13
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    I honestly don't care about Mother's Day at all. I do use it as an excuse to get DH to play Scrabble with me twice in one day.

    And the pugs in the park day yesterday? The woman who organized it called it a Pug Moms in the Park Day. And I'll be honest. My pug is my baby. I don't need any Mother's Day recognition or anything. I do have two kids. My pug is a lot nicer to me than they are (at this particular time).

    One thing I did notice yesterday is that people were wishing me a happy mother's day when DH and I were out alone. That did make me wonder. I mean, how do they know I am a mother? I had no kids with me. I think people just assume all women are mothers. I guess the majority are, but it did make me cringe a little. Plus, how do you answer that? When it was a woman saying it, I answered, "You, too." But, I had no clue if they were mothers.

    I don't know. I guess I find it a little weird that, just because I have female parts, I must be a mother. Then again, motherhood was never a goal of mine either. It's something I did because I fell in love with a man who wanted kids. I mean, I have really enjoyed being a mother to my kids, but it's not how I define myself.

  4. #14
    Heartless Wench Alice Chalmers's Avatar
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    They do it all the fucking time, and it sucks. I *hate* working on Mothers' Day. Hate. Yesterday I never left the farm. My mom visited and I gave her a present, and I set up the chicken coop and worked on fencing with my brother and not a single person asked me about my children. It was glorious.

  5. #15
    Non-praying member Mamapalooza's Avatar
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    Yet another day watching people try to be inclusive, but not too inclusive. You don't want offend anyone on your way to being inoffensive.

    I see a school in BC has stopped doing anything to celebrate Mothers and Father's Day, and letting families celebrate at home in an effort to be more inclusive of all family types. It didn't occur to me until I read a lot of comments from women who said they were disappointed, as the gifts their kids made at school were the only things they got for MD, as they didn't have a partner or another adult to help the kids make or buy something.

    There's no way to please everyone.
    "Wherever in the world much poverty is found, much religion is found also"

  6. #16
    Melts in Your Mouth -- srsly! M&M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lizzie Beth View Post
    To me Mother's Day was always about my mom. Even after I had kids it took me a while before I started thinking of it as applying to me.


    I always thought of Mother's Day as a holiday all about my mom, rather than about me. It has only become about me since she passed away 11 years ago, and I still prefer to keep it pretty low-key rather than a big huge thing. The "holiday" makes me a little sad because I miss my mom and wish she were still here so it could still be all about her.

    George Michael McKitty

  7. #17
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    I think some men just don't care as much. If it wasn't for all the advertising from companies trying to get people to buy crap for their dads I probably would forget about Fathers Day.

    I do laugh when I see men on social media posting stuff like "make sure to call your kids". Like it's becoming some rare thing to have your kids living in the same home as you do
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  8. #18
    I would love to be wrong. Yogagirl's Avatar
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    DH and I went to an art museum on Mother's Day and they made a point of saying that all women get in free that day. Not all mothers; all women. It was nice.

    FWIW I have kids, pets and had a decent relationship with my mother while she was alive. I hate Mother's Day. I hate the non stop FB posts about wonderful mothers and the wonderful kids who made their day special. My kids really try to do something nice and DH is always on by case to pick something that I want to do. Honestly, if they all called and said I love you that would be enough. That way I wouldn't have to clean the house.

  9. #19
    Let's take a trip to the stars Steffy's Avatar
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    I saw two different rants yesterday from women (one is child free by choice, and quite vocal about it, not sure about the circumstance of the other one) about how they have "fur babies" :eyeroll so they should be wished a happy mother's day, too and not left out. Uhh...okay.

    I do think it's kind of gross to assume that every woman is a mother. There is no way to know a stranger's circumstance or personal choices, so unless they have kids with them calling them 'mom', I think it's better to just not say anything.

  10. #20
    Shrieking Violet Sprockey's Avatar
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    There is SO much pressure to have a good mother's day!

    For the first time this year, I insisted that my DH take his Mother out to breakfast without me, so that was nice

    And I told my boys that it was up to them to plan the day for me since I am usually the one who coordinates it.

    They did great. It was a simple but good day.

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