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Thread: Cleaning help for someone else's party

  1. #11
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    I can't even imagine leaving my empty cups and plates anywhere but the trash can.

  2. #12
    Full Sponsor RealCranky's Avatar
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    I dunno. At a sit down dinner, I'd rather that people just leave it for me to clean up in an organized way, and at a more open house kind of thing, I think people mostly do throw out their trash, but they wander around and lose their plate or wine glass or whatever.

    I actually do expect to spend as much time cleaning up the next day as I spent on set up, and I just plan for that.
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  3. #13
    Non-praying member Mamapalooza's Avatar
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    Most of our get togethers are with family, and the women (yes, the women) in both our families are tidy people who clean up as they go. Thinking about it, the alpha female/hostess will get up to serve the food or clean up afterwards and the rest of us women (and a man or two) will follow that cue to assist. For my family, the alpha female is my oldest maternal aunt (since my grandmother passed) and in DH's family that's my oldest SIL. Not uncoincidentally, gatherings are usually at their houses.

    Neither are one to let empties sit around or not have garbage and recycling readily available, so we pick up after ourselves as we go. When it's time to wash dishes or load a dishwasher we're all hands on deck. If any of the women sit on their butts while everyone else helps out, they will be judged for it. Not to their faces, but it goes against the group culture and it gets noticed. Little is asked of them.

    The only big events I recall that required extensive cleanup and dismantling the next day were family wedddings or an anniversary celebration at a rented hall. There the alpha female or hostess would organize a crew of family members to meet up and get it done. I don't recall it ever being an issue where it was left to one person. I don't do open house or dinner party type gatherings at someone's house, but I wouldn't expect the same level of help that I would in the less formal, more family-centered gatherings that I'm used to. That's probably why I don't have dinner parties and open houses. If we have friends over for dinner, DH and I will accept an offer of help but it's us primarily on clean up.

    I have no military exposure or experience so I can't know how that would compare to what I'm used to, but it sounds like it would lean more toward a semi-formal, non-family situation with a lone hostess rather than a crew.
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  4. #14
    Premier Sponsor Inky's Avatar
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    Since this was a group activity, of which you were part of the planning, why not, in the future, assign minor tidying duties to some of the guests for the evening. That would lighten the load all around. And not just for your parties but others as well.

    My friends and family are all very well trained. Someone always pitches in and starts dishes, putting away, etc. I think part of the reason is because in my 30's I was not very well, with RA, and friends were very helpful. It just seems to still be that way.
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  5. #15
    Fifth Wheel Chat Rouge's Avatar
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    I'm iffy on the idea. On one hand, I'm usually always the one at someone else's event keeping an eye out for trash, helping with clean-up, etc. But, when it's my own party, I usually don't want anyone to pitch in. Husband excluded - he's required to help! In the past couple of years, I've "allowed" my two best friends to help a bit. Then there was the time last year when I was slicing bread that unfortunately included my finger and had to shove that project at one of party guests to finish! (No, I didn't bleed on the bread!!)


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  6. #16
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inky View Post
    Since this was a group activity, of which you were part of the planning, why not, in the future, assign minor tidying duties to some of the guests for the evening. That would lighten the load all around. And not just for your parties but others as well.

    My friends and family are all very well trained. Someone always pitches in and starts dishes, putting away, etc. I think part of the reason is because in my 30's I was not very well, with RA, and friends were very helpful. It just seems to still be that way.

    We do this specific event annually, and I'm jotting down notes about lessons learned, and that's definitely on there. On other girl had a baby sitter take her kids out while we were at her house (for about 30 minutes). Apparently when the sitter came back with the kiddos, they enjoyed some of the "punch" left sitting around in the cups. Some for that was "adult" punch. Opps! So having a crew stay behind in each house for even 5 minutes is on my list. Wouldn't have helped much at my house due to our abrupt departure necessarily, but it would have helped the others.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chat Rouge View Post
    I'm iffy on the idea. On one hand, I'm usually always the one at someone else's event keeping an eye out for trash, helping with clean-up, etc. But, when it's my own party, I usually don't want anyone to pitch in. Husband excluded - he's required to help! In the past couple of years, I've "allowed" my two best friends to help a bit. Then there was the time last year when I was slicing bread that unfortunately included my finger and had to shove that project at one of party guests to finish! (No, I didn't bleed on the bread!!)


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    Even just throwing away paper plates and cups, or empty bottles and cans? I'm not one to let people help with the cooking or anything like that, but throwing away trash is definitely always fine!

  7. #17
    Premier Sponsor Inky's Avatar
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    When we used to do get-togethers with our large group of friends at Christmas every year, we' d get the teenagers (whoever had kids the right age) to do all the tidying up, dishes etc. and we'd pass the hat. Those kids made out really good!
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  8. #18
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    Even just throwing away paper plates and cups, or empty bottles and cans? I'm not one to let people help with the cooking or anything like that, but throwing away trash is definitely always fine!
    Yeah, I don't want people washing my dishes or loading a dishwasher, but I would sure as hell expect them to toss plastic cups and paper plates in the trash. That seems like the very, very least that should be expected of another human.

  9. #19
    kcunaC yzarC Lor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimm View Post
    Yeah, I don't want people washing my dishes or loading a dishwasher, but I would sure as hell expect them to toss plastic cups and paper plates in the trash. That seems like the very, very least that should be expected of another human.
    I appreciate when people offer to help with the dishes but always say no, I have weird little quirks about dish washing so it stresses me out when people insist on doing them.

    I also cannot imagine leaving my trash lying around someone's home, it's incredibly rude to just leave a mess of garbage for your host to pick up.

  10. #20
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    For something like paper plates and cups and napkins I would expect those to wind up in a trash can but for real dishes I would rather people let me take the lead on the clearing and cleaning.

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