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Thread: Overzealous family members

  1. #1
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
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    Overzealous family members

    Dh and I are non practicing catholic/episcopal. We identify as christian but don't go to church. We used to go to church when our kids were younger and my kids have also been exposed to baptists services as they also used to go with my SIL to church at times. They are now all young adult and are mostly atheists. My sister belongs to a megachurch which routinely goes on weekend long missions to preach the "word" to the homeless and less fortunate (in matching t-shirts and then they go out for a nice dinner after). IMO it is proselytizing at it's best.

    My oldest dd is now living with my sister for 2 months until she moves into her new place. My sister listens to a sunday podcast that her church puts out featuring their minister preaching for 2 hours. She always tries to get my dd to listen with her, which she will for a bit and then goes out. Yesterday my sister told her that she was worried for dd's soul. That she would not go to heaven if she didn't repent her sins and believe in Jesus. Dd

    But I'm a little ticked she's using her leverage on my dd. I'm torn between talking to my sister about it and then again maybe not, as dd doesn't really need me cape wearing for her.

    Anyone have any ideas?

  2. #2
    Shrieking Violet Sprockey's Avatar
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    I think I would stay out of it and let your DD handle it. It might be best for everyone that way. You don't need a conflict with your sister and your dd will get a lesson in speaking up for herself.

  3. #3
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
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    I think this is just one of those life lesson deals. Does dd want you to intervene? I mean, obviously dd told you about it..

    I tend to avoid people who can't stop with the preaching.. Like completely. I understand it comes from a place of love (and/or fear). But I have limits. That would be a hard lesson for your sister to learn.

  4. #4
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
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    She tried this with me when I moved down as well. We finally agreed to disagree. Her church is well known for it's views on conversion therapy and courting the "beautiful" people. My dd can handle herself. LB I think you hit the mail on the head, does she want to be that person in the family, people avoid and/or mock due to her religious zeal? It is such a turn off. I keep trying to ignore it, but we are so close it is HARD.

    Dd told me about it because she was mocking her and a bit annoyed. Not that it's bothering her that much.

    But it bothers me.

    ETA- My family is strict catholic, they actually seem more flexible in their views than my sister's church. Seriously

  5. #5
    Let's take a trip to the stars Steffy's Avatar
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    Ugh...you should let your DD handle it, but that would annoy the shit out of me. Those mega churches are the worst.

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    Where the flowers bloom Andee's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say anything about it. It is between your dd and your sister. If she were younger, I might give different advice.

  7. #7
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
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    I am so glad that my DSD doesn't try to proselytize to me. I'm sure she probably thinks I'm going to hell, but at least she doesn't feel the need to tell me.

    As long as your DD can handle herself, I'd let her unless (until?) she came to you and asked you to intervene. Hopefully her eyes won't get stuck in the back of her head before she moves to her own place.

  8. #8
    argh Nansel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andee View Post
    I wouldn't say anything about it. It is between your dd and your sister. If she were younger, I might give different advice.


    I'd be seriously peeved if my sister did that, but there comes a time for your kids to stand up for themselves. Especially if it's something that's bugging you maybe more than the kid. Support your dd when needed, and at least she only has to be polite about it for a couple of months.

  9. #9
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steffy View Post
    Ugh...you should let your DD handle it, but that would annoy the shit out of me. Those mega churches are the worst.
    Yep.

    It would annoy me, too, but it sounds like your DD is more than capable of handling it.

  10. #10
    Premier Sponsor Inky's Avatar
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    I agree with the rest - your dd sounds like she can handle it. And it sounds like your sister is doing her a favour by letting her stay a couple of months - so there is that to consider.

    It would be nice if someone (not you!!!) could take your sister aside and tell her how her behaviour could cause family and friends to pull away.
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