I do see the dirt and DH may see it, but it doesn't bother him. I have become better about letting a lot of it go. DH buys gifts for his side and my side, he makes his own appointments. He also works 3 jobs and is out of the house more than he's here. I realized that much of the resentment I felt about the housecleaning wasn't about what DH was or wasn't doing, it was pressure I was creating to "get it all done." I realized that it doesn't need to all get done and if a better offer comes along- it's going to be put off. I'm okay with that. Tidy is good enough and if I have energy and time, I'll do more if I feel like it.