Putting in debate, because I know someone won't agree with me. Lol.
For clarification sake, Beth is my son's fiancee. Jacob is my son. They have been dating for 3 years now, and will marry next November. Emily is my daughter. Tom is my husband, and he is a police officer.
Long story... my future daughter in law is precious, but her dad is a whack job. I truly can't stand the guy. He is rude, and quite frankly, a weirdo. He does "nail art" on his own hands, not just a manicure, but full on acrylics, with polish, stuff embedded in them, etc. I would think they were tacky on anyone, but on someone with a full beard, it is just plain weird. He is also a jackass, IMO, for several reasons. One being that when he was invited to my mom and dads a few years ago for Thanksgiving, he showed up with his "service dog", who proceeded to pee all over their carpet, and drip blood on their bedroom floor, because she was in heat. He didn't even try to clean it up, he just watched my mom do it. My mom has severe pet allergies, and was just too nice to tell him to leave. Another example, Beth messaged him and her mom a while back, asking if they would be able to help with the wedding at all. His response was "someone hasn't been paying their child support, so I am tapped out".Her parents divorced several years ago,, after going to prison together for embezzlement. Mom took over a 100 grand from her place of employment. He has also been filming cops (as is his right), and generally being a jerk to other officers, not Tom *yet*. So, I have lots of reasons to just not like this guy. Fast forward to a little while ago, and I get a text message from Beth, asking if her dad and his girlfriend, and her 3 brothers can join us tomorrow... Um WHAT? I didn't buy a big enough briskit to feed 5 extra people, 2 of whom are teenage boys, the grocery stores are now all closed. I told her I didn't think I had enough, she responded with "he has a cooked ham he can bring". I was willing to let it go, but Tom was pissed. He called Jacob, and told him that the dad is not welcome here. Then he tempered it with we will be polite if they show up, but don't expect conversations and no tension. I have also talked to Jacob, but not to Beth. I am giving it some time first. Here's the thing. I worked out Chrismas details out weeks ago, accommodating for Tom's schedule ( he will get off at 7 in the morning), Emily's schedule (she has to work 10-2), Beth's schedule (she works 6-2), and Jacob's schedule ( he goes to work tomorrow night). I knew full well there was a good chance I wouldn't get to see all of them at the same time, I knew Jacob would be spending part of the day with her family, as he should. I didn't want to be the overbearing MIL and make demands on their time. Now this dad wants to INVITE HIMSELF last minute to my house for Christmas dinner?! Am I wrong in shutting it down? Oh, one more detail- Beth wasn't even speaking to him until last week. He has hurt her over and over and over again. I don't want to hurt her to, but I just can't do it with this man.