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Thread: Honestly don't know how to handle this / what to tell him

  1. #1
    Is finally happy again... UtaCO's Avatar
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    Honestly don't know how to handle this / what to tell him

    Gavin had a girlfriend, they've been together for one year. She seemed like such a great girl. She is one year older (almost 17 to his almost 16), they are in the band together, are "nerds" together, just really cute.

    Gavin also has one really good friend, Billy. They've been pretty much best friends since 7th grade, he is also in the band.

    Well, apparently Billy and Melissa started hooking up about 4 weeks ago.

    Gavin is crushed. And honestly, not all about Melissa not being his girlfriend anymore, more about the betrayal of them both. And mostly about losing his best (and pretty much only) friend.

    I just don't know how to make it better. I mean, I told him that the break-up of a relationship is something that pretty much every teenager is going through, and he gets that. In a way, he wants to stay friends with her. But he is so pissed at Billy. And he is now holed up in his room mostly because he has nobody else to talk to. He is very close to Corina and they do talk a lot, but she lives in NC now with her BF, which makes it harder for them. I told him I would pay for a plane ticket to go visit her in NC, but he says he needs space and time and solitude.

    What can I tell him? I told him that he will make new friends, but he is telling me that most of the kids his age (or older) are very much into drugs, alcohol and parties, which is so much not him (thankfully!).

    He misses his best friends but at this point is just so pissed off at them.

    Anything I can do? Advise please!!!

  2. #2
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
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    Ugh. Poor guy. I don't know that there is really anything you can tell him. That sucks in every conceivable way.

  3. #3
    argh Nansel's Avatar
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    Short answer - no.

    Keep talking to him, but respect if he decides he doesn't want to hash it over anymore. In some ways it gets harder as they get older - watching them start to get into "adult" situations, and having no control over any of it other than to be a shoulder to cry on.

  4. #4
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry he had to go throw this but I agree with Nansel and LB - there's nothing you can do to make it better, you can just be there for him and try make sure he doesn't wallow too much. That really sucks that his best friend and his girlfriend would do that to him . I would recommend that he not really stay in touch with either of them for awhile at least.

  5. #5
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
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    That sucks.

    ITA all you can do is be there for him.

  6. #6
    Premier Sponsor Jasmine's Avatar
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    I agree with the others. Learning about love and life is a right of passage every teen has to undertake and learn to deal with. Other than being there if needed, you have to let him process all of this.
    "Life is about dreams. Teaching is about making them come true."

  7. #7
    Is finally happy again... UtaCO's Avatar
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    Thanks all. :) I know this is something pretty much every teen will go through eventually, but I hate seeing him upset. He is in the mad / angry phase right now, I talked him down from posting mean things on his Facebook page though.
    Let's wait and see I guess....

  8. #8
    Unrelentingly Oppositional Andrea's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry he's going through this. These types of things are always painful no matter which age they occur, but when you're a teen it's like those feelings are on steroids. All you can do is be there for him, in empathy.

    Also, reassure him that time helps. It won't always feel as terrible as it does today. It gets better. I know it sounds trite but it's true.


    "When politics becomes a religion, then simple disagreements become apostasies, heresies. And you know what we do with heretics." -- Peggy Noonan


  9. #9
    Non-praying member Mamapalooza's Avatar
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    That's really a double whammy, isn't it? Talk about adding insult to injury.

    One day he will understand that the best revenge is to let him keep her. Until then, it just flat out sucks. I hated seeing my kids' hearts broken too, it makes you feel so helpless.
    "Wherever in the world much poverty is found, much religion is found also"

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