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Thread: That's Dangerous!

  1. #21
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    I've been delivering for Amazon Flex this month to pick up a little extra Christmas money. I've been letting each of my three big kids take turns going with me because, A) It's boring by myself and it's good one on one time, B) It's efficient because they can find my next package while I'm running up to the door, C) They love it because they get to play Pokemon and I get them some pokecoins. They aren't aloud in the warehouse so I drop them at Starbucks close by while I pick up the packages - usually about 30 minutes. My twins (10 in two weeks) have been begging for a turn to go. I've been nervous about it, not because I think they would be in any real danger or misbehave at Starbucks, but because of nosy adults. I did finally decide to let them have a turn. They sat nicely drinking hot chocolate and playing on their kindles. Sure enough some lady started questioning them about where their mom was. I had told them that if anyone asked they should say I was picking up some Christmas presents (not untrue) and I'd be back shortly. Apparently they also decided to tell her they were black belts, lol. Anyway, when I got back she said she was so surprised to see them there alone because parents didn't leave their kids alone in her day (yeah right). I told her that they were only in danger from nosy strangers who might feel the need to report them and I was so glad that didn't happen. *sigh* I probably won't take them again.

  2. #22
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    *allowed

  3. #23
    Premier Sponsor Peanut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiftOfFlavor View Post
    I'm not a mommy and I could care less about how other people raise their kids.

    Unless your kids are affecting me (ie screaming at the top of their lungs in a movie theater, or running around a restaurant and putting their hand on my plate of food - yes, that happened), I could care less about how anyone else raises their kid.
    I understand what you're saying here, and I respect that. I am a "mommy" (although my children are 20 and nearly 18), and also judge parents who do not teach public propriety to their children.

    Please, please, please tell me the bolded doesn't extend into your professional life, though.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nansel View Post
    And I know it was because some of the staff were uncomfortable with physical play, because I worked there too and talked to them about it.
    If a kid gets hurt at school, parents are Not Happy. Also, there's paperwork. (When my students want to do something outside, I remind them that I will not be happy if I have to fill out an injury report.)

    There was an interesting article in yesterday's NYT about seesaws - they've been taken out of a lot of playgrounds for safety reasons, but they let kids learn a lot of physical things that other playground equipment doesn't.
    nesha ;-)


    Down with the Tsar!
    Time to storm the Winter Palace...

  5. #25
    Non-praying member Mamapalooza's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Chalmers View Post


    People want so desperately to believe that if they just do everything right, then nothing really bad will happen. Then when really bad things happen to others, they look for blame, because if the Really Bad Thing can be blamed on what someone else did wrong, then they can confirm their belief that if they do everything right nothing really bad will happen.
    That may be true to some degree, but I can judge and not be under the illusion that to do so protects me from the bad stuff. There have been a couple of recent court trials where the parents neglected to get their kids' medical attention in favor of some alternative woo, and both the kids died as a result. I will judge the hell out of that, knowing full well that my own child has medical vulnerabilities and issues of her own. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

    That said, I think people in general are just more comfortable judging one another about everything, thanks largely to social media and proliferation of information at our fingertips. Politics, religion, parenting, relationships, whatever. We're a society of voyeurs and rubberneckers with the added element that we now feel it's not just a right but an obligation to "out" those who we deem as morally inferior. People get blasted on the net for questionable parking jobs ffs.

    Especially among younger people, to not call people out publically on their perceived failings and transgressions says as much about us as about them. We're more accepting and inclusive in some areas of life, but approaching zero tolerance in others. In short, humans are fucking weird. Parenting is just one slice of the pie.
    "Wherever in the world much poverty is found, much religion is found also"

  6. #26
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    Yeah social media and "mommy blogs" with people's constant need for attention just makes me judge even more. People want to get noticed for what they do yet complain if somebody doesn't agree with them
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


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  7. #27
    Full Sponsor GiftOfFlavor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut View Post
    I understand what you're saying here, and I respect that. I am a "mommy" (although my children are 20 and nearly 18), and also judge parents who do not teach public propriety to their children.

    Please, please, please tell me the bolded doesn't extend into your professional life, though.

    I try to educate my patients about their kids dental needs and health. As long as those are taken care of then my professional responsibilities are over.

    I dont really care if my patients are letting their kiddos play outside or not. Doesn't affect me. I do care if they don't teach their kids to brush, or let them drink soda and eat candy all the time, or don't correct their misbehavior in my office.

  8. #28
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    I was definitely a helicopter mom. My kids are teens now and do age-appropriate things, but I'm still a huge worrier. I try to keep it as reined-in as possible to avoid passing on my anxieties to them, but it sneaks out sometimes. Parenting is hard. I try to give leeway to others for doing things differently.

  9. #29
    Is finally happy again... UtaCO's Avatar
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    I remember when I was around 12 (early 80's). We would ride our bikes to school every day. About 4 miles one way, a paved road through the farmer's fields to the next town over.
    One day, a girl (14 at the time I believe) stayed late after school and rode home by herself. And really bad luck, that day she was attacked by some guy, injured and sexually assaulted.
    Our parents would drive us to school for 3 days until the guy was caught, then we were back riding out bikes to school.

    Not sure if I would do the same with my kids, I was definitely a bit more paranoid.

    But.....especially when living in the US, I was a lot more lenient than most American parents. Probably my upbringing in small town Germany. Just like tpatt, we would play outside until it got dark. No worries at all. We would ride our bikes all over town, would spend hours in the fields having picnics and playing Cowboys and Indians. Different times.

  10. #30
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    I think sometimes, too, that other parents/schools err on the side of the most helicopter-y parents, because they'll be the ones to freak out. Parents like me just bitch a bit.
    I have been screamed at, threatened with lawsuits, (that never came to pass), had parents show up to "check out what is really going on in here", etc. And I have only been teaching for 2 years! Most recently it was a mom who was ticked off because she had to bring her son a change of pants after they got wet at recess... he said he went down a slide that was wet, but 1. it hadn't rained in 2 days, 2. four other classes had been at recess before us, and 3. they were way more wet than a slide would have caused. I think he went and sat in a puddle, on purpose, but I can't prove that. She also wanted to talk about why her son wasn't learning certain things... well maybe because when we are counting, for example, he sits with his back to me and his hands over his ears! I will be professional with her, I will continue to encourage her son to do his best, etc, but she is sure making her own life harder in the long run.

    If a kid gets hurt at school, parents are Not Happy. Also, there's paperwork. (When my students want to do something outside, I remind them that I will not be happy if I have to fill out an injury report.)

    There was an interesting article in yesterday's NYT about seesaws - they've been taken out of a lot of playgrounds for safety reasons, but they let kids learn a lot of physical things that other playground equipment doesn't.
    Our current playground is so bare it isn't even funny. We consolidated into grade level center this year, and our principal had a ton of equipment removed. It broke my heart. NO swings. I doubt we will ever have them. We are a pre-k and K center. Our principal is worried about the risk factor, which I can understand, but in my opinion, the kids NEED that gross motor action.

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