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Thread: That's Dangerous!

  1. #11
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    Let me qualify that: I have three sons, ages 6, 5, and 3. Only the older two can unstrap themselves. They are left in a locked minivan, ignition off and keys out of reach, on days less than 70 degrees — and never for more than three minutes at a time. Most often they are left when I have to pay for gas in cash, when I have to pick up a prescription, and when I need to run in and drop something off (like when I’m at my husband’s school, and I need to leave his lunch at the front desk).
    This is a bit different than the stories I am used to seeing on the news though. I usually see stories of a parent who leaves their kid in the car while they are at the bar, getting their nails done, etc. I don't feel comfortable leaving my son in the car at any age but that's me. I don't judge others for doing it, if something happens it's not my kid so lol.
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


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  2. #12
    Full Sponsor GiftOfFlavor's Avatar
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    I'm not a mommy and I could care less about how other people raise their kids.

    Unless your kids are affecting me (ie screaming at the top of their lungs in a movie theater, or running around a restaurant and putting their hand on my plate of food - yes, that happened), I could care less about how anyone else raises their kid.

  3. #13
    Heartless Wench Alice Chalmers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RealCranky View Post
    I think people are really bad at assessing risk, for one thing. As life becomes less risky overall, our perception of what might be risky has gone crazy.

    I first noticed this in the 80's, when that first wave of kidnapping/stranger abduction wave went through. There were all these events to have your kids fingerprinted, and they were billed as "safety issues". When I pointed out that fingerprinting your kids would not stop the (very low) chance of them being abducted but would rather let their body be identified if they were killed, people got really hysterical. It was weird to me.
    Excellent point. Our lives are so incredibly safe now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Old Goat View Post
    A long time ago when my SIL only had one child - and he probably was a toddler or younger dh and I found out that friends of ours were about to lose their 5 year old to a brain tumour - SIL was there when we got the phone call. We were both very upset and the first thing out of her mouth was "What did they do?". I was floored that she was trying to somehow assign blame for this - I wasn't a parent then and I couldn't figure out how she could be so heartless but now I see it was just that she was scared that if this 5 year old could die than maybe her kid could too.
    Yep. It happens a lot with stillbirths, as well. People are terrified of it happening to them, so they want to find a way they can protect themselves.

  4. #14
    Heartless Wench Alice Chalmers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tpatt100 View Post
    This is a bit different than the stories I am used to seeing on the news though. I usually see stories of a parent who leaves their kid in the car while they are at the bar, getting their nails done, etc.
    Well, exactly. When a parent leaves two kids strapped in the backseat in order to run in and pay for gas and grab a soda, it doesn't make the news because nothing happened because it's not actually dangerous to do this.

  5. #15
    Full Sponsor GiftOfFlavor's Avatar
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    Do kids even play outside any more? I hardly ever see kids playing outside? Have they made yard-kickball illegal?

  6. #16
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    Except we are conditioned by the news and sometimes law enforcement to often do something rather than nothing when we see a child in a car left unattended. People in general are non confrontational, I know this from experience from social engineering tests I have performed at work over the years.

    I remember a few years ago seeing a kid playing around in a mini van outside Best Buy not parked in the fire lane (trigger) but way in the back of the parking lot, my wife and I debated "uh are we supposed to do something??", we decided not to get involved which is the normal response. Somebody calling the police is pretty rare. When something bad does happen that is when all the monday morning quarterbacking occurs.

    There are people out there that like to get people into trouble though. Then there are those who don't want to run into hostile reactions from a parent if they do say something.
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  7. #17
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiftOfFlavor View Post
    Do kids even play outside any more? I hardly ever see kids playing outside? Have they made yard-kickball illegal?

    I did a lot as a kid but I had a stay at home mom so when summer hit I was outside with friends until the sun went down. I think with the increase in after school activities and two working parents plus social media and video games that tradition kinda died.
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  8. #18
    argh Nansel's Avatar
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    I live in a neighbourhood with a lot of younger families. We are just a bridge across the big river from downtown, and we have a small river at the end of my street. There are frequently packs of kids running/riding around. Varies by location, I'd imagine.

    One other thing that I've noticed is that parents now have a huge variance in tolerance for physical play/injury. When my dd was young she did bmx racing (basically unmotorized motocross), which is fairly risky on the sports scale. Obviously the families were good with it. There were lots of crashes. As long as the kid didn't hit their head or need hospital care for a broken bone it was all good. Lots of bruises and bumps and road rash. For the kids it was almost a mark of pride to have a good one, and they'd show them off.

    Then dd would go to her elementary school where the staff were so freaked out by physical play and the risk of injury that the kids weren't allowed to run on the paved part of the playground in case they fell, or play road hockey because someone might get inadvertently hit with a stick or a ball. And I know it was because some of the staff were uncomfortable with physical play, because I worked there too and talked to them about it. But the playground wasn't part of my job so I shut my mouth and rolled my eyes later.

    I think sometimes, too, that other parents/schools err on the side of the most helicopter-y parents, because they'll be the ones to freak out. Parents like me just bitch a bit.

  9. #19
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
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    It's also a self-perpetuating thing - if you hover and never let them do anything, then the one time they slip by and attempt something, they don't have that trial and error experience of working up to it. And then they do fall and break something, reinforcing the belief that bad things will happen with kids at play. Vicious cycle that ends with tragic things happening in college..

  10. #20
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lizzie Beth View Post
    It's also a self-perpetuating thing - if you hover and never let them do anything, then the one time they slip by and attempt something, they don't have that trial and error experience of working up to it. And then they do fall and break something, reinforcing the belief that bad things will happen with kids at play. Vicious cycle that ends with tragic things happening in college..
    Exactly - we need to give them this independence now while they're still under our roof instead of sending them off to university with no experience in decision making and/or failure.

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