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Thread: How important are thoughtful gifts to you?

  1. #21
    Moderator Pokey's Avatar
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    J is awesome at it, but I sometimes struggle finding the right thing for him. My ex was absolutely terrible at it.

  2. #22
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Old Goat View Post
    I had a sit down with ds last night to talk about Christmas. His two BFFs come from religions that don't celebrate Christmas so he was quite floored when a group of them went out for a movie and dinner last year just before Christmas only to find that his two BFF's had bought him Christmas presents and he had nothing for them . So yesterday I told him he needed to either talk to them now about not exchanging gifts or trying to think about what he wanted to get them - and it was sort of a light bulb moment for me that he finds gift giving pretty stressful because he has a hard time thinking about what to get people. He always manages to get me something nice for whatever the occasion is but he struggles with his father (I often have to tell him what to get dh). Now maybe dh is telling him what to buy me - but I don't think so. I think his wife is going to be buying her own presents
    I'll admit to not fully understanding this. When someone says, "Gosh, I my old robe is really starting to wear out," or especially, "I'd really like a new wine opener", it's tough for me to comprehend how that doesn't set off a "gift alert!" alarm in one's head. I struggle a lot more now that I don't see most of my friends and family ever , but it seems to me like some of this is a choice--to be thoughtful about gifts year round and make notes (actual notes, if necessary!) when things come up, or not. I know different brains work differently, but some of it must also be a choice, right? To kind of be thinking of gifts year round, not just starting Dec. 1st and 4 weeks before a birthday? It might not work for every occasion, but surely at least sometimes the hints--either intentional or not--are there.

  3. #23
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    See that's what I do - if someone says "Oh I've always wanted a XX" in April I file it away in my little internal gift folder for future reference. But my son is not built that way . For that matter I don't think my dh is either - while his gifts are always thoughtful he also misses my hints a lot of the time. Last year I hinted pretty aggressively that I wanted an ugly Christmas sweater and I didn't get one so this Christmas I announced that I was buying my own since my hints were ignored last year and they both looked at me like I was speaking another language - couldn't remember hearing anything .

  4. #24
    argh Nansel's Avatar
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    How important are thoughtful gifts to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by tpatt100 View Post
    My wife asks me what I want for Christmas but then she says she doesn't think the gifts I want are very thoughtful. Well if she knew me then that Captain America shied or Iron Man helmet is "thoughtful"....
    I agree with you! Thoughtful doesn't have to mean typically romantic.

    I have, as Dh puts it, "weird" hobbies. (By that he means atypical, he's not being insulting). So the best gifts he's surprised me with have been things that might not look great from the outside. But he knows me, and honours that. That is what makes a gift thoughtful, IMO

  5. #25
    Where the flowers bloom Andee's Avatar
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    Last year for my birthday my husband stopped by a local store,(after work on his way home) and basically threw things in the cart for me. Put them all in one box and wrapped it up for me.

    It was some gum, a chocolate bar, a cookbook, some pumpkin spice coffee that he thought were muffins that I could cook and a kitchen gadget that came from as seen on tv.

    I get that he made an effort and I appreciate it but the gift sucked balls. I didn't expect it to be any different though, lol.

  6. #26
    Shrieking Violet Sprockey's Avatar
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    I do ALL of the gifting for the holidays. He has one job: to buy for me! He's gotten much better over the years. He will get a combo of things I have asked for and things he thinks I would like.
    Some are winners and some are not, but I appreciate the effort
    The truth is, I don't really want or need anything so it's kind of unfair to expect him to figure something out.

  7. #27
    Premier Sponsor Mare's Avatar
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    I usually get the things I want or need so that wouldn't work for me for gifts. That's why I hate gift giving. The things DH wants are always more than our budget and it bugs me.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

  8. #28
    I would love to be wrong. Yogagirl's Avatar
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    I think thoughtful is important. DH is always mentioning things he would like so he's easy. He tends to buy me things he likes. So one year I got a pretty expensive blue tooth speaker. He uses it all the time. I listen to music through earbuds mostly. I've gotten some pretty ugly but functional boots, slippers, jackets because he doesn't care what they look like as long as they work. This past year he as gotten much better or maybe I've gotten better at steering him in the right direction. For my birthday I got yoga classes (perfect) and a very pretty and unique wooden carving. I was thrilled.

  9. #29
    Full Sponsor maurinsky's Avatar
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    My sweetheart is very thoughtful with gifts, but I'd be fine with a night out or gift cards.

  10. #30
    Full Sponsor GiftOfFlavor's Avatar
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    I'm just gonna leave this here:
    Tentacle Earrings


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