J is awesome at it, but I sometimes struggle finding the right thing for him. My ex was absolutely terrible at it.
I'll admit to not fully understanding this. When someone says, "Gosh, I my old robe is really starting to wear out," or especially, "I'd really like a new wine opener", it's tough for me to comprehend how that doesn't set off a "gift alert!" alarm in one's head. I struggle a lot more now that I don't see most of my friends and family ever , but it seems to me like some of this is a choice--to be thoughtful about gifts year round and make notes (actual notes, if necessary!) when things come up, or not. I know different brains work differently, but some of it must also be a choice, right? To kind of be thinking of gifts year round, not just starting Dec. 1st and 4 weeks before a birthday? It might not work for every occasion, but surely at least sometimes the hints--either intentional or not--are there.
Originally Posted by Wise Old Goat
See that's what I do - if someone says "Oh I've always wanted a XX" in April I file it away in my little internal gift folder for future reference. But my son is not built that way . For that matter I don't think my dh is either - while his gifts are always thoughtful he also misses my hints a lot of the time. Last year I hinted pretty aggressively that I wanted an ugly Christmas sweater and I didn't get one so this Christmas I announced that I was buying my own since my hints were ignored last year and they both looked at me like I was speaking another language - couldn't remember hearing anything .
How important are thoughtful gifts to you?
I agree with you! Thoughtful doesn't have to mean typically romantic.
Originally Posted by tpatt100
I have, as Dh puts it, "weird" hobbies. (By that he means atypical, he's not being insulting). So the best gifts he's surprised me with have been things that might not look great from the outside. But he knows me, and honours that. That is what makes a gift thoughtful, IMO
Last year for my birthday my husband stopped by a local store,(after work on his way home) and basically threw things in the cart for me. Put them all in one box and wrapped it up for me.
It was some gum, a chocolate bar, a cookbook, some pumpkin spice coffee that he thought were muffins that I could cook and a kitchen gadget that came from as seen on tv.
I get that he made an effort and I appreciate it but the gift sucked balls. I didn't expect it to be any different though, lol.
I do ALL of the gifting for the holidays. He has one job: to buy for me! He's gotten much better over the years. He will get a combo of things I have asked for and things he thinks I would like.
Some are winners and some are not, but I appreciate the effort
The truth is, I don't really want or need anything so it's kind of unfair to expect him to figure something out.
I usually get the things I want or need so that wouldn't work for me for gifts. That's why I hate gift giving. The things DH wants are always more than our budget and it bugs me.
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I think thoughtful is important. DH is always mentioning things he would like so he's easy. He tends to buy me things he likes. So one year I got a pretty expensive blue tooth speaker. He uses it all the time. I listen to music through earbuds mostly. I've gotten some pretty ugly but functional boots, slippers, jackets because he doesn't care what they look like as long as they work. This past year he as gotten much better or maybe I've gotten better at steering him in the right direction. For my birthday I got yoga classes (perfect) and a very pretty and unique wooden carving. I was thrilled.
My sweetheart is very thoughtful with gifts, but I'd be fine with a night out or gift cards.
I'm just gonna leave this here: