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Thread: How important are thoughtful gifts to you?

  1. #11
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
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    How important are thoughtful gifts to you?

    Oh, God, this is so not in Dh's wheelhouse! And to be fair, it's not like I drop hints or anything because I don't know what I want. If I really wanted anything, he's pretty happy for me to go out and buy it any of the other 364 days in the year. And if you gave me $500 and a free day to go out and buy something for myself, I'd be stumped for a good while. So if I have no idea what I want/need, how can I expect him to?

    And he's the kind of person you can't even bring a sandwich home to unless it is expressly what he asked for. He just looks at you stupidly, while sputtering "but I...didn't...ask...for this.." and looking helpless. So if that's how he feels when confronted with an unexpected offering, it's not that surprising that he wouldn't want to do the same to me. And I'm no better, but that's largely because he is the way he is. A couple of times I've bought things he has expressed an interest in, but that interest seems to die the second he unwraps whatever it is, and it sits unused and gathering dust.

    Kinda sucks, but he's not doing it to hurt me. And honestly, I'd rather fool around. So I guess his vasectomy was the best gift ever.

  2. #12
    Premier Sponsor Mare's Avatar
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    I am the clueless "typical" husband who is at a loss for thoughtful gifts. I honestly have no idea what to get.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

  3. #13
    If you bring the monkey, I'm leaving puppylove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mare View Post
    I am the clueless "typical" husband who is at a loss for thoughtful gifts. I honestly have no idea what to get.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
    We are twins. Dh remembers stupid stuff I've said I want throughout the year. I ask him for a list. It works out fine. I might surprise him with one thing off the list, but that's it. His gifts usually overwhelm me because I can't believe he remembered I wanted whatever it was.


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  4. #14
    3:21:44 Peachy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puppylove View Post
    We are twins. Dh remembers stupid stuff I've said I want throughout the year. I ask him for a list. It works out fine. I might surprise him with one thing off the list, but that's it. His gifts usually overwhelm me because I can't believe he remembered I wanted whatever it was.
    Yeah, me too. While I love getting thoughtful gifts, I'm pretty horrible at getting them for dh. Every time I ask him what he wants, he says the same thing: Nothing. If he wants something throughout the year, he just buys it.

    I just asked him what the best gift I ever gave him was, and he said the painting I gave him for our anniversary. Hmmm. Maybe I can paint him something else for Christmas.

  5. #15
    If you bring the monkey, I'm leaving puppylove's Avatar
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    Tim's best gift ever was his jonsered chainsaw lol. He's still in love.


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  6. #16
    kcunaC yzarC Lor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puppylove View Post
    We are twins. Dh remembers stupid stuff I've said I want throughout the year. I ask him for a list. It works out fine. I might surprise him with one thing off the list, but that's it. His gifts usually overwhelm me because I can't believe he remembered I wanted whatever it was.
    This describes us 100% and it caused me such angst for so many years, I actually started to really dislike Christmas because I knew R would give me something wonderful that I mentioned briefly in May or June while I broke my head trying to remember a single suggestion he made at any point in the year. He was actually not very gracious about it and I finally got fed up and told him I hate buying him gifts because no matter what I came up with he would say something about how it was "Great but not what he would buy, nice but he would have spent a bit more and bought the xyz model, cute but he didn't know what made me think he would want xyz..." so now he tells me what he wants and I buy it.

    He's really good at choosing thoughtful gifts for everyone, I have other strengths lol.

  7. #17
    Feminist since age three! Marian Paroo's Avatar
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    The worse gift I ever got, was so unthoughtful I remember it to this day (but not every day), and it still peeves me.

    It was a string of beads, very pretty beads, mind you, that someone brought me from Prague.

    The person presented it to me with a flourish, and a "I saw this and knew it would be just perfect for you!" At that point she had known me for like thirty years, and in all that time I had never worn beads once.

    I think she pulled it out of a tub in the market, along with a dozen others she brought back as gifts.

    WOuldn't have minded if it wasn't for the little speech

  8. #18
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    Hmm. It does mean a tremendous amount to me when he comes up with a thoughtful gift. But he doesn't always, and that's okay, too. So I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. If he never came up with a thoughtful gift, I would start to feel... unseen. But some years when it's a sweater that I like but don't love or a gadget that takes up space (he's much more into gadgets than I am), he has enough benefit-of-the-doubt built up that it doesn't matter.

  9. #19
    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    My wife asks me what I want for Christmas but then she says she doesn't think the gifts I want are very thoughtful. Well if she knew me then that Captain America shied or Iron Man helmet is "thoughtful"....
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


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  10. #20
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peachy View Post
    Yeah, me too. While I love getting thoughtful gifts, I'm pretty horrible at getting them for dh. Every time I ask him what he wants, he says the same thing: Nothing. If he wants something throughout the year, he just buys it.

    I just asked him what the best gift I ever gave him was, and he said the painting I gave him for our anniversary. Hmmm. Maybe I can paint him something else for Christmas.
    I had a sit down with ds last night to talk about Christmas. His two BFFs come from religions that don't celebrate Christmas so he was quite floored when a group of them went out for a movie and dinner last year just before Christmas only to find that his two BFF's had bought him Christmas presents and he had nothing for them . So yesterday I told him he needed to either talk to them now about not exchanging gifts or trying to think about what he wanted to get them - and it was sort of a light bulb moment for me that he finds gift giving pretty stressful because he has a hard time thinking about what to get people. He always manages to get me something nice for whatever the occasion is but he struggles with his father (I often have to tell him what to get dh). Now maybe dh is telling him what to buy me - but I don't think so. I think his wife is going to be buying her own presents

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