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Thread: BIL dating your DH's Ex?

  1. #1
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    BIL dating your DH's Ex?

    DH's mom and her boyfriend came and spent a day with us this weekend, and it was a really nice day. BIL lives with them. He's seems to be staying healthy and his life seems to be coming together, and we talked a lot about all the great things that are happening for him.

    So Boyfriend starts mentioning something to DH, and MIL kind of cuts him off, saying it was supposed to be a secret, and that BIL told her not to mention it. Boyfriend replies that that's silly, and the BIL never told *him* not to mention it, and continues.

    Turns out the big secret is that BIL is dating a girl, J, that DH worked with (and BIL worked with them as well). DH and J went on a couple dates a year or two after high school, and according to DH they were never a couple and it was hardly even dating. Everyone seemed really weird about it, like DH was going to freak out that some girl he sort of dated 20+ years ago is his brother's girlfriend. They brought it up repeatedly. "Are you sure you are okay with him dating J?" "BIL was really worried you were going to be upset. Are you sure you aren't?" There also seemed to be some concern that I might take issue with it, I guess because this puts a sort-of-Ex potentially in our lives.

    DH couldn't care less. And neither could I. Would this upset you? If it was happening in your family, would you be concerned that someone would freak out over a casual girlfriend (using the term loosely) dating another sibling 20 years later?

  2. #2
    If you bring the monkey, I'm leaving puppylove's Avatar
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    Dear lord, no. 20 years ago? No one is even the same person they were 20 years ago. Good luck and god bless, I say.
    -Donna- People first. Dogs second. Things last.

    http://countdowntoasimplerlife.blogspot.com

  3. #3
    Moderator Shaena's Avatar
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    20 years and only a few dates, is not really weird.

  4. #4
    NEVERtrump
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    Seems to me they were creating drama where no drama was called for.
    “Saying John Lewis isn’t a man of action is like me saying: ‘Donald Trump is all tax returns, no tweets.’” Trevor Noah


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  5. #5
    boring prudish virtue signaler stellarfeller's Avatar
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    I barely even remember the guys I dated 20+ years ago, so I can't imagine caring about it

    (although I do remember one hookup with a boy who was almost four years younger than me :naughty)
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  6. #6
    ••••••••••••• niccikatie's Avatar
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    The only reason it would bother me is if there was some sort of high drama situation or if the person was abusive or something. Otherwise, NBD.

  7. #7
    argh Nansel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justthinking View Post
    Seems to me they were creating drama where no drama was called for.

  8. #8
    Premier Sponsor
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    I can't imagine that would bother me even a little bit....20 years is a long time ago!
    Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here, we might as well dance!

  9. #9
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    Wouldn't bother me at all.

  10. #10
    Where the flowers bloom Andee's Avatar
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    Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

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