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Thread: Cheating

  1. #1
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    Cheating

    If your spouse had a one-night stand, would you want to know?

    How about if he/she was drunk/impaired at the time... and incredibly remorseful and never going to do it again?

    How about if your spouse had an affair? sexual and emotional?

    Would you want to know if your spouse was a serial cheater?


    Now... assuming you were told, would you blame the messenger?

  2. #2
    Premier Sponsor Mare's Avatar
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    I would want to know in all cases. Why would I blame the messenger?

  3. #3
    argh Nansel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mare View Post
    I would want to know in all cases. Why would I blame the messenger?

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    Having lived this with my husband... I can honestly say I definitely want to know.

    I DID blame the messenger to a point, but that's only because said messenger had arranged/participated in/filmed the activities. I blamed DH more, of course, but I also lost two friends because I never can trust them again.

    We have repaired our relationship, he was diagnosed as bipolar and is being treated. HUGE difference.

    But so many people say they wouldn't tell. I ABSOLUTELY would tell if I knew someone was cheating.

  5. #5
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    Yes, I would want to know. No, I would not blame the messenger. And if I found out that one of my friends knew and did not tell me, I would no longer consider that person a friend.

  6. #6
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DayDreamer View Post
    Having lived this with my husband... I can honestly say I definitely want to know.

    I DID blame the messenger to a point, but that's only because said messenger had arranged/participated in/filmed the activities. I blamed DH more, of course, but I also lost two friends because I never can trust them again.

    We have repaired our relationship, he was diagnosed as bipolar and is being treated. HUGE difference.

    But so many people say they wouldn't tell. I ABSOLUTELY would tell if I knew someone was cheating.
    That's not blaming the messenger; that's blaming the partner in cheating.

  7. #7
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
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    I always tell Dh if he did that he better HOPE I don't find out, because judgment cometh, and that right soon.

    It's not permission, because if I found out from someone else, there would still be scorched earth. I would expect the third party/affair partner to tell me. There would certainly be blame if the messenger was also the affair partner. Doesn't mean my husband wouldn't be blamed more, much more.

    But I don't think I'd just confront him, I'd want to gather proof, expose him, clean out the accounts, have papers drawn up and seriously scare the living Christ out of him. Nothing scarier than a loyal wife who isn't crying and just hands you papers.

  8. #8
    kcunaC yzarC Lor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimm View Post
    Yes, I would want to know. No, I would not blame the messenger. And if I found out that one of my friends knew and did not tell me, I would no longer consider that person a friend.
    Exactly this. I went through this with K's biodegradable father and I was angier at the deception than I was about the actual cheating.

  9. #9
    ••••••••••••• niccikatie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DayDreamer View Post
    If your spouse had a one-night stand, would you want to know?

    How about if he/she was drunk/impaired at the time... and incredibly remorseful and never going to do it again?

    How about if your spouse had an affair? sexual and emotional?

    Would you want to know if your spouse was a serial cheater?


    Now... assuming you were told, would you blame the messenger?
    Yes, I would want to know in all those situations. Unless the messenger were involved in the affair, I would not blame them. I would appreciate knowing.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by niccikatie View Post
    Yes, I would want to know in all those situations. Unless the messenger were involved in the affair, I would not blame them. I would appreciate knowing.
    This.

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