Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: More Narcissist Fun!

  1. #1
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    11,520
    Rep Power
    251900

    More Narcissist Fun!

    Found another really good article analyzing narcissists. Worth a look so you can deal with the Narcissist in your life! ❤️

    http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/...is-the-parent/

  2. #2
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    20,540
    Rep Power
    485192
    I found this to be so very true for me:


    To heal from the abuse of a narcissist it is essential to understand that the child is not the one who has been at fault. This will take a long time to fully accept, but the more the child of a narcissist learns about the condition, the better chance they have of understanding that.


    Boundaries also need to be put in place to ensure the narcissist parent does not have access to emotions that can easily be triggered. Firm, clear and tough guidelines must be set in place if the relationship is to continue. It is essential to protect other children and grandchildren to prevent them from also being in the line of fire and susceptible to similar abuse.


    Independence is key to ensuring that the narcissist will not have the ability to manipulate and control the child’s life. This is not easy when the child is young; however, as an adult child it is imperative to take small steps to build a life free from the narcissist parent.

  3. #3
    Camacho 2016 tpatt100's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    38,385
    Rep Power
    429025
    there is more than one child in the family the narcissist parent will often have a favourite who can do no wrong in their eyes. This creates even more insecurities for the child at whom the resentment is targeted. The child will feel as though they are imagining things, as it seems that everyone else around them, including their sibling, is treated very differently.
    This is my wife's brother and what her mom does exactly
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  4. #4
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    11,520
    Rep Power
    251900
    It's just so insidious to deal with it when you're raised this way and the narcissist is the one who gets to mold you in such a way that it benefits them and makes it damn near impossible for you to even realize that this is abnormal behavior.

  5. #5
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    20,540
    Rep Power
    485192
    It took me till about 40 to truly realize it was NOT me. It was her. Once I put boundaries in place and quit trying to make her happy. I was SO much happier. When I look at myself in my 20's now I see a beautiful successful busy working nurse/bride/young mother. Not the fat, lazy disgusting person my mother told me I was. I was none of those things, and yet, I believed it...because she was my mother.

    I am very thankful for the help of my best friends who continually told me it wasn't me, and the therapist who led me to believe it. Once I quit playing the game, she stopped picking at me...because I would pull away and not engage. My brother told me a while ago the only thing he remembers about my teen years was that I sat at the dinner table and cried every night. He never understood why I never got up and left, why I took the emotional abuse she dished out. Simply because I couldn't, I believed it. I felt I deserved it.

    I didn't.

    I now know more about my mom and some of the reasons she treated me the way she did. I will always be thankful that she made me independent and empowered me to take risks (travel/switch jobs, etc.). But the rest ..notsomuch.

  6. #6
    Sponsor GiftOfFlavor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    5,830
    Rep Power
    153281
    Well that article hits pretty close to home.
    sheesh.

  7. #7
    Camacho 2016 tpatt100's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    38,385
    Rep Power
    429025
    A narcissist needs an energy feed, and if they have a child who is sensitive, it is highly likely that child will become the one who suffers the most. The narcissist will draw energy from the drama and the suffering they cause, and the easier a person is to hurt, the more likely a narcissist is to keep the dynamic going.
    My wife and I talked about this part last night, once my wife cut her mom off her attacks increased and became way more hostile. She was an emotional vampire and lost her food supply. Then when my wife got a personal protection order and somebody else got one against her also she went full psycho on her husband. She doesn't get as much of a high off abusing her husband as she did my wife.
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  8. #8
    Being it, y'all! Lizzie Beth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    11,520
    Rep Power
    251900
    Yeah. When I "took a break" from my dad, he called everyone I knew, including Dh and my in-laws. He'd have called my boss if I'd had one at the time. When my mom filed for divorce, he called her parents, her boss (she was working for an Episcopal Archdiocese, so it was the freaking Bishop) to complain and try to embarrass her out of doing it.

    This is not a thing that normal people do, even when they're in excruciating pain.

  9. #9
    Premier Sponsor
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    1,177
    Rep Power
    31617
    My MIL has severe borderline personality disorder - from what I understand it involves a bit of everything, so she has some narcissistic tendencies. Some of these things fit, but not all, because it's not just narcissism she's dealing with. Has anyone here dealt with that? It took many years to find out what the deal was (she's not in our lives any more) and when I would try to talk about things that happened with her on my boards people would occasionally accuse me of making it all up because it was just that bizarre.

  10. #10
    Sponsor GiftOfFlavor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    5,830
    Rep Power
    153281
    Quote Originally Posted by Pandora View Post
    My MIL has severe borderline personality disorder - from what I understand it involves a bit of everything, so she has some narcissistic tendencies. Some of these things fit, but not all, because it's not just narcissism she's dealing with. Has anyone here dealt with that? It took many years to find out what the deal was (she's not in our lives any more) and when I would try to talk about things that happened with her on my boards people would occasionally accuse me of making it all up because it was just that bizarre.
    My biological mom has severe BPD.
    My therapist thinks my stepmom also has it.
    My dad has shitty taste in women.

    BP's are INSANE to deal with. They're almost beyond therapy, they don't last long with therapists.

    I hear you about people thinking you're making things up. I could drop your jaw with stories from my mom and stepmom.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •