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Thread: How to find a marriage counselor?

  1. #1
    Chronically sleep deprived RN_mom's Avatar
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    How to find a marriage counselor?

    I am in need of a marriage counselor, and I have no idea how to go about finding one. I had asked a couple of friends I knew had been to counseling, and both of them had seen Christian counselors. That's not going to work for me.

    Any advice on how to do this? Dh is of no help in this (which is one of the issues, but I digress), so I'm flying solo here.


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  2. #2
    ••••••••••••• niccikatie's Avatar
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    I feel like the only way to really know is to pick one and just start. One thing I looked for for DH and I was a man. I felt like he would respond better to a man (especially due to the issues we were having) telling him he was wrong or needed to change his thinking. We lucked out and the first guy I picked was excellent. But, I do think we lucked out. If you don't have a friend who knows both you and DH, I'd say pick someone and start. I would also suggest looking for someone who has an MFT, as I find they are much more relationship focused and less person focused. Our therapist told us straight away that he likes to try to keep couples together and that everything he tried would be for us to avoid divorce. If we were there just to say we tried, it wasn't going to be a good fit.

    ETA: Good luck! Huge hugs and I hope you find someone excellent.

  3. #3
    3:21:44 Peachy's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say we "picked" one. I just called my EAP and went with whoever had the earliest opening. She was nice enough, but I probably would've went with someone else if we had the time to shop around.

    Good luck!

  4. #4
    No groundhogs; just prairie dogs RobinAnn's Avatar
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    I was going to suggest seeing who is on your EAP list also.

  5. #5
    Moderator jen's Avatar
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    This is the model I trust with all my soul. I suggest finding someone trained in it http://www.iceeft.com/index.php/find-a-therapist

  6. #6
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
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    My husband wouldn't go when I looked for a therapist, so I found someone that I was comfortable with. My criteria was no one religious and I wanted a woman based on bad experiences in the past. I called my EAP, told them that, and they found someone close to me.

    Good luck.

  7. #7
    Chronically sleep deprived RN_mom's Avatar
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    Thank you guys! I didn't even think of calling my EAP, as I haven't had to ever use them.

    We are going away for a couple of days, just the two of us. I hope we can talk and enjoy ourselves.


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  8. #8
    Let's take a trip to the stars Steffy's Avatar
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    I think you have to decide what qualities are most important and go from there. Like, if I were to go to one, I would want to make sure that they were:
    -non-religious (or at least didn't bring it into their sessions)
    -not strictly traditional (on their web site, they mention being LGBT friendly, or non-traditional relationship friendly--not because I need those things, but IMO it shows openness and a trend towards not being judgmental)
    -lean towards feminism

    If that makes sense? I'm still on my first cup of coffee.

    Sorry you are having to do this. I see this down the road in my life, once I graduate and get my own career.

  9. #9
    Chronically sleep deprived RN_mom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steffy View Post
    I think you have to decide what qualities are most important and go from there. Like, if I were to go to one, I would want to make sure that they were:
    -non-religious (or at least didn't bring it into their sessions)
    -not strictly traditional (on their web site, they mention being LGBT friendly, or non-traditional relationship friendly--not because I need those things, but IMO it shows openness and a trend towards not being judgmental)
    -lean towards feminism

    If that makes sense? I'm still on my first cup of coffee.

    Sorry you are having to do this. I see this down the road in my life, once I graduate and get my own career.
    That makes a lot of sense, and something that I've been thinking about. We live in such a conservative area that I worry about conservative views clouding things. I suppose you can interview a potential therapist over the phone? I mean I know they usually have like an intake appointment, but I only have so many visits with my insurance. Would rather know up front if there are major issues I need to avoid.


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  10. #10
    Nihongo dame desu villanelle's Avatar
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    When I was looking for a therapist for my anxiety, I spoke with her for a while on the phone to see if we were a good match. She asked my basic questions about me an my anxiety, and I was able to ask her questions as well.


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