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Thread: Consequences for bad grades

  1. #21
    Unrelentingly Oppositional Andrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimm View Post
    Mare - I have had the "This really, really matters now" discussion with Matthew over and over (also a freshman). I get the very distinct impression he doesn't give a shit…or maybe thinks I am full of shit. I don't know. He sounds a lot like your daughter. He tests very well (always advanced). His grades are always fine, but he never, ever does one thing beyond the very minimum and he half-asses some of that.

    Of course, he is also convinced that he is going to make his living playing video games. Yes, PLAYING them, not creating them. He participates in all these tournaments and he is now sponsored by this one group which seems fine, except that it seems to be adding credence to the idea he has that he is going to make a fortune doing this.

    My motto now is, "Hey, I really hope that works out for you, but it's my job to make sure you are prepared for Plan B." It is so frustrating. DH actually handles this better than I do because I simply do NOT understand wanting anything less than perfection. I mean, I rarely achieved perfection, but I was always aiming for it. I am pretty sure Matthew is aiming for "just enough to get Mom to shut the hell up."

    I feel your pain.
    I could have written this. All except the video gamer career. My son doesn't think that far in advance.

    "When politics becomes a religion, then simple disagreements become apostasies, heresies. And you know what we do with heretics." -- Peggy Noonan


  2. #22
    nolite te bastardes carborundorum stellarfeller's Avatar
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    Question about American colleges: do they look at grades from all four years of high school? Here, as far as I know (and remember), our colleges and universities just consider grades from grade 12.
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  3. #23
    Full Sponsor maurinsky's Avatar
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    I can relate to the slackers, I really can. I did very well with minimal effort in the classes I enjoyed, and terrible in the classes I didn't like because I exerted negative effort. When my mother was told by a teacher that I could do something incredible with writing if I pushed myself more, I responded to my mother "I already have an A, what more do you want!" When I went to college the first time, I had a 4.0 because I only took English, Music and Theater classes. I don't recommend this meandering path, but sometimes, you have to develop internal motivation by failing, sometimes by failing hard.

  4. #24
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea View Post
    I could have written this. All except the video gamer career. My son doesn't think that far in advance.
    My sympathies. It is massively frustrating. And I feel stupid complaining about it in real life because most people are fighting battles they consider more relevant, such as kids failing or kids who CAN'T do better, even with effort. I just see so much wasted potential with Matthew. Who knows? Maybe he will mature and decide to care at some point. I don't know.

    Quote Originally Posted by stellarfeller View Post
    Question about American colleges: do they look at grades from all four years of high school? Here, as far as I know (and remember), our colleges and universities just consider grades from grade 12.
    Your GPA is a combination of the grades from all 4 years, yes. College admission here is based on GPA, test scores (ACT or SAT), and extra-curriculars. There may be more, but I can't think right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by maurinsky View Post
    I can relate to the slackers, I really can. I did very well with minimal effort in the classes I enjoyed, and terrible in the classes I didn't like because I exerted negative effort. When my mother was told by a teacher that I could do something incredible with writing if I pushed myself more, I responded to my mother "I already have an A, what more do you want!" When I went to college the first time, I had a 4.0 because I only took English, Music and Theater classes. I don't recommend this meandering path, but sometimes, you have to develop internal motivation by failing, sometimes by failing hard.
    Yep. I just hope his lessons aren't too painful.

  5. #25
    Premier Sponsor Mare's Avatar
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    That's what I see--wasted potential. It's really hard for me because I was devastated when I didn't get an A grade on an assignment. I find it very hard to relate to what she may be thinking. I know now in the grand scheme of things, grades don't make you a better person or necessarily more capable. However, they do matter in helping out financially to pay for college considering it costs approximately eleventy million dollars. I will be very angry if she pisses away her A+ scholarship chance for community college.

    I have an appointment on Monday morning with her counselor.

    She is trying out for the all state choir. I am trying to impress on her that she won't be able to participate in it if her grades are poor (and if she makes the choir). I hope that sinks in.

  6. #26
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    Mare.

    You are doing everything you can. That's really all you can do.

  7. #27
    Moderator jen's Avatar
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    First semester of freshman year was pretty crappy for DD, too. It wasn't until it was her own motivation to do well that she became so driven. Freshman year really is not given nearly as much weights as the other years. I hope she turns it around.

  8. #28
    Turtle killer STLouisMom9800's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellarfeller View Post
    Question about American colleges: do they look at grades from all four years of high school? Here, as far as I know (and remember), our colleges and universities just consider grades from grade 12.
    Actually what my HS senior is finding out is that they really only look at grades 9-11 because you have to get in your applications (if you're looking for scholarships) by December of your senior year. So the senior year grades don't really matter too much. He had this idea that he could bring his GPA up senior year and it's not possible. Now his grades aren't bad, he's got a 3.2 GPA and a 27 ACT score but most of the scholarships require the 27 ACT AND a 3.4 or higher GPA. I could not keep myself from pointing out how this is a great example of the choices you're making today can follow you for years.

  9. #29
    HI! Wise Old Goat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jen View Post
    First semester of freshman year was pretty crappy for DD, too. It wasn't until it was her own motivation to do well that she became so driven. Freshman year really is not given nearly as much weights as the other years. I hope she turns it around.
    This is why I'm so glad ds has gym and shop this first semester. I think having only 2 academic classes will be a nice transition for him into high school expectations.

  10. #30
    I'm just here for the lulz. Sarsparilla's Avatar
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    Kimm, I have a friend whose boyfriend is making a modest living as a League of Legends player. Very modest!
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