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Thread: Dear Abby:

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    Shrieking Violet Sprockey's Avatar
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    Dear Abby:

    My wife and I are in our 60s and have been married more than 40 years. It hasn’t always been great, but we’ve made it. Recently, while going through some old boxes in the basement, I ran across her diary and discovered that she had an affair while we were engaged. This has left me depressed, hurt and feeling very down. Should I confront her with my findings?
    ..

  2. #2
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
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    For something that happened over 40 years ago? He brought on his own hurt by violating her privacy and reading her 40-year old diary. I'm not sure what his expectation is by bringing it up now. If it's depressing him, he needs to seek treatment.

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    Wishes reality was like comic books tpatt100's Avatar
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    I think somebody had doubts about the marriage all along and found something to make his doubts feel valid.

    If it was me I would guilt my wife into letting me buy a corvette.
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


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    Moderator Shaena's Avatar
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    Gosh how sad to be living that way after 40 years of marriage!

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    Member phoenix rising's Avatar
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    I think he should bring it up to her as there may be distance between them because of it.

  6. #6
    Shrieking Violet Sprockey's Avatar
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    She cheated before they were married, 40 years ago.

    I agree that he should say something about it, get her explanation, and then move on.

  7. #7
    Non-praying member Mamapalooza's Avatar
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    I remember something similar, only the husband actually divorced his wife because of it. Not sure if that was true or not of course.

    I would bring it up if I discovered my DH of 40 years had cheated while engaged to me. I know I would. It might be old news to him but it's brand new information to me.
    "Wherever in the world much poverty is found, much religion is found also"

  8. #8
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
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    She shoulda gotten rid of the diary...


    But yes I'd be hurt

  9. #9
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
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    Why should she have gotten rid of her diary? HE shouldn't have read it.

    His hurt is understandable. But he is the one who chose to read what he found knowing that it was her diary. He is the one who was in the wrong at this point in the marriage.

  10. #10
    I flunked typing coachgrrl's Avatar
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    Dear Abby:

    Oh I'm not saying he wasn't wrong.

    I'm only saying if you wrote something you knew might not be viewed well.. You might be wise to get rid of it.

    I wouldn't want my kids reading it after I'm dead either FYI

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