Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 29

Thread: Dear Abby:

  1. #11
    Camacho 2016 tpatt100's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    38,382
    Rep Power
    429025
    Should have encrypted her diary
    Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.


    Ann Landers

  2. #12
    Queen of the Nerds gilamomster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    13,636
    Rep Power
    0
    IMO Let it go. It was 40 yrs ago. If you're not happy, seek treatment. If you are content then what the hell were you doing reading her diary?

    This is more of a him problem then a them problem. Someone likes to hold grudges and play the victim card. Yuck

  3. #13
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    84,423
    Rep Power
    615285
    Quote Originally Posted by gilamomster View Post
    IMO Let it go. It was 40 yrs ago. If you're not happy, seek treatment. If you are content then what the hell were you doing reading her diary?

    This is more of a him problem then a them problem. Someone likes to hold grudges and play the victim card. Yuck
    Exactly.

  4. #14
    Moderator jen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Persisting
    Posts
    22,413
    Rep Power
    395489
    It's a new wound for him, even though he should not have the information. Hopefully they have a solid relationship now and can easily rebuild trust. I'm sure he's now wondering if she had other affairs.

  5. #15
    love and darkness and my sidearm stellarfeller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Hawkins, IN
    Posts
    20,304
    Rep Power
    288311
    Quote Originally Posted by gilamomster View Post
    IMO Let it go. It was 40 yrs ago. If you're not happy, seek treatment. If you are content then what the hell were you doing reading her diary?

    This is more of a him problem then a them problem. Someone likes to hold grudges and play the victim card. Yuck
    Mornings are for coffee and contemplation
    -
    Chief Hopper, Stranger Things

  6. #16
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    84,423
    Rep Power
    615285
    Quote Originally Posted by jen View Post
    It's a new wound for him, even though he should not have the information. Hopefully they have a solid relationship now and can easily rebuild trust. I'm sure he's now wondering if she had other affairs.
    He violated trust too. The difference is she did something to violate trust 40 years ago, and he did something to violate trust current day. I'm sure if he brings it up, she'll be wondering if she can trust him too.

  7. #17
    Premier Sponsor Jasmine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Greater Metropolitan Chicago Area
    Posts
    15,554
    Rep Power
    77215
    If I was with someone for forty years and truly love him, I'd never bring it up. I wouldn't want to create hurt and guilt in the person I love, not for something that happened forty years ago before we were even married. I'd comfort myself with the thought that he had chosen me, in the end, and it had been the right choice for both of us.
    "Life is about dreams. Teaching is about making them come true."

  8. #18
    Full Sponsor RealCranky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Ohio - the Cloudy State
    Posts
    29,486
    Rep Power
    188894
    I think he should let that go. It's a long time ago.

    I also think people should burn their diaries. We found my m-i-l's, from the 1930s, and I wish we hadn't. Sheesh.
    nesha ;-)


    Down with the Tsar!
    Time to storm the Winter Palace...

  9. #19
    Moderator Pokey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Here, there, and everywhere...
    Posts
    21,865
    Rep Power
    264680
    Quote Originally Posted by gilamomster View Post
    IMO Let it go. It was 40 yrs ago. If you're not happy, seek treatment. If you are content then what the hell were you doing reading her diary?

    This is more of a him problem then a them problem. Someone likes to hold grudges and play the victim card. Yuck
    I agree. He violated her privacy now, after 40 years of marriage.

  10. #20
    Premier Sponsor
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    1,177
    Rep Power
    31617
    Interesting...I don't think it would occur to either my husband or I to think of reading a 40 year old diary as violating privacy and trust. If I stumbled across something like that of my husbands in a box I'd be like, "Neat!" and check it out. I wouldn't find it at all offensive for him to do the same. I mean, we pretty much already *have* gone through each other's old things and memorabilia with no thought of it being private - yes, we were both okay with it, but it's not like we even paused to think whether ourselves or the other might not be.

    I can understand being hurt, but I would think/hope he could let it go. If it's bothering him every day, he should bring it up to her just to clear the air.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •