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Thread: Addiction and relationships

  1. #11
    Non-praying member Mamapalooza's Avatar
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    Blackout alcoholics are scary and unsettling. Functional alcoholics not so much, so I don't know. Honestly, I would be more apt to set reasonable boundaries in an effort to keep mine and DD's life on an even keel as much as possible before I would just pull the plug. There is so much grey area here for me, though it is primarily why I left my ex.
    "Wherever in the world much poverty is found, much religion is found also"

  2. #12
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    I would not stay. Drinking like that is a serious trigger for me. I grew up around a miserable group of abusive drunks. The ones who weren't abusive were extremely pathetic and sad.

    I am not opposed to alcohol in general, but I don't like it on the rare occasion that Dh has had one too many and he has never done anything even remotely bad. It's just an automatic "Panic" trigger for me.

    It is a definite deal breaker for me.

  3. #13
    Vicious Trollop Kimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarsparilla View Post
    I. . . don't know. You guys know my history. I think I would try with everything I am to convince them to get sober. To get well. I would try so hard, typing this makes me realize that.

    Violence from the drinking would make walk away, though.
    Yeah, violence is pretty clear cut. There are so many subversive levels though. Drinking made my dad nicer. One would think that would be a good thing, but I just remember never feeling safe because it never felt like there was an actual grown up in charge.

  4. #14
    Moderator Shaena's Avatar
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    Black out drunk, NO.

  5. #15
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
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    My husband did have a bad drinking problem early in our marriage. I did eventually give him an ultimatum - stop the hard liquor or our marriage was over. There was more to it than that I just don't want to go into, but suffice to say that he attended counseling for alcoholism, stopped drinking completely for several months, and now only drinks a beer or two a day when he drinks. Yes, I was prepared to separate over it and he knew it.

  6. #16
    Member phoenix rising's Avatar
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    I left home at 17 because of alcoholism. There is no way I'd subject myself or my children to that type of life.

  7. #17
    Premier Sponsor Junebug's Avatar
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    I watched my co-worker go through this... her DH did several stints in rehab before it took. I'm sure she is happy that she stuck it out, but those were some pretty horrible years. Also, she lives every day with the thought that at any moment, he could fall off the wagon. Nothing I would want to live with, but I've seen how hard it is just to leave. If you love the person, you want to help them. Especially when they say that they do want to save the marriage, get better, etc.

  8. #18
    I'm just here for the lulz. Sarsparilla's Avatar
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    Also, she lives every day with the thought that at any moment, he could fall off the wagon.
    I don't know your co-worker's husband, but generally speaking, recovering sober alcoholics don't live on the knife edge of relapse every day.
    Welcome to Fluffytown. No smoking, no farting, no pillow fights.

  9. #19
    Chronically sleep deprived RN_mom's Avatar
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    If he was unwilling to seek help, then I would not stay. I grew up with addicts of many kind, and I've no desire to live my life like that. I believe whole heartedly in my vows and the "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" portion, but when I said that the presumption was that worse was not our new normal.


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  10. #20
    Member jjchris's Avatar
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    I think I might. We've been through so much and keep coming out stronger on the other side. My sister's husband was an alcoholic for decades and he is finally sober. Their marriage is really good now, so I'd probably be Pollyanna and hope he would eventually come out of it.

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