Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 50

Thread: Our new foster teen and the three letter word!

  1. #11
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    84,664
    Rep Power
    624669
    Maybe that mother should be having a talk with her own daughter. :brow

    Now, even though I wouldn't be the one to approach the mother, I'd have no qualms with discussing anything with the girl (like the importance of using birth control and the lifetime consequences of unintended pregnancy) and/or encouraging her to talk to her mother about it.

  2. #12
    Member Fish Lady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Happy to be back in Texas!!!!!!!
    Posts
    18,890
    Rep Power
    0
    As the mom of a daughter I would certainly have wanted to know.

    It's good this boy has you in his life

  3. #13
    Full Sponsor maurinsky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    27,233
    Rep Power
    369765
    Quote Originally Posted by purplekitty View Post
    I do think it sounds like she's trying to trap him, but there's no way I'd be telling the mom that they are sexually active. Particularly since one of the first things out of her mouth was asking if the boy was a bad influence on her daughter. Nope. That woman isn't going to make the situation better.
    I agree with PK.

  4. #14
    I'll take the crust in peace. Kasi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    27,391
    Rep Power
    168812
    Oh wow. Mom of girl is fooling herself. If you tell her Mom, you will violate his trust in coming to you. Yet, at the same time, I'd want to know! That's a hard place to be. Can girl come over so you can have a talk with both of them about birth control and protection? And about how having a baby right now would be a sure way to make sure the relationship didn't last? Perhaps she thinks if she gets pregnant by him, he won't leave her? Can you limit their interactions to your house where you can set the rules?

  5. #15
    I'll take the crust in peace. Kasi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    27,391
    Rep Power
    168812
    Quote Originally Posted by purplekitty View Post
    Maybe that mother should be having a talk with her own daughter. :brow

    Now, even though I wouldn't be the one to approach the mother, I'd have no qualms with discussing anything with the girl (like the importance of using birth control and the lifetime consequences of unintended pregnancy) and/or encouraging her to talk to her mother about it.
    Agreed.

  6. #16
    Premier Sponsor Peanut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Standing by the keg
    Posts
    10,994
    Rep Power
    282558
    Mom should have a talk with the girl, but the situation reads as if Mom is in denial that anything is taking place. Denial can be very comforting as we watch our children wade their way toward adulthood. Unfortunately, denial isn't the best direction for us to take as parents.

  7. #17
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    84,664
    Rep Power
    624669
    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut View Post
    Mom should have a talk with the girl, but the situation reads as if Mom is in denial that anything is taking place. Denial can be very comforting as we watch our children wade their way toward adulthood. Unfortunately, denial isn't the best direction for us to take as parents.
    Of course, but neither is breaking the confidence your own child has shared because the other mom should know. May's priority is her foster son. The fact that the mother is in denial about her daughter and is already looking to blame the boy for the one being the bad influence makes it clear that I surely wouldn't be the one to tell her anything.

  8. #18
    Ellaria Niobe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Dorne
    Posts
    60,729
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by May27JnJ View Post
    She's 14 and he's 15. Both freshman in HS.

    I just don't think the relationship will last once he starts at a new school. He'll get interested in someone else. Although he swears he's going to marry her.
    Have you checked the laws in your state to make sure he's not at risk of any criminal charges, with her being only 14?
    I solemnly swear the words in this post are mine own, and not the work of any third party, corporeal or otherwise, unless they are quoted with citation.

  9. #19
    Premier Sponsor Peanut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Standing by the keg
    Posts
    10,994
    Rep Power
    282558
    Quote Originally Posted by purplekitty View Post
    Of course, but neither is breaking the confidence your own child has shared because the other mom should know. May's priority is her foster son. The fact that the mother is in denial about her daughter and is already looking to blame the boy for the one being the bad influence makes it clear that I surely wouldn't be the one to tell her anything.
    True. I guess I am just looking at this as a mom who would want to know and would want to look out for my daughter.

    ETA: Niobe raised a very good point. Mom sounds like the type who would pursue charges.

  10. #20
    Moderator purplekitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    84,664
    Rep Power
    624669
    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut View Post
    True. I guess I am just looking at this as a mom who would want to know and would want to look out for my daughter.
    Well, as a mom who would have been having a conversation with my daughter (as I did with both my sons), I'd already know.

    Not everyone has moms who "want to know" though.

    Some may recall I went through something similar with my oldest son and his gf when they started dating. I helped her get on birth control because her own mother refused. No way was I chatting about it with her mom. And even though it was against her mother's wishes, I'd do the same again because it was in the best interest of my son.

    There is no surer way to have an unplanned pregnancy than telling kids they don't need to be having sex.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •