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FedUp
08-02-2009, 12:19 AM
Tonight at work I had a family come up (I work at a local ice cream place that friends of ours own). It was a Mom, Dad and their 2 teenage boys. The boys looked like they were about 14 and 16.

The family stood in line passing a cigarette back and forth between them. :puppylove I couldn't believe it. They were right out in the open with other people and families around. Lots of young children were around. Most of the other people in line were looking at them like this :headshake .

How would you react if you saw this? What do you think of parents who let their under age children smoke?

Cookie
08-02-2009, 12:20 AM
What do you think of parents who let their under age children smoke?
Scum. :shrug

Minnie
08-02-2009, 12:22 AM
How would I react? I'd :headshake and :gg and walk away. I wouldn't say a thing - wouldn't be worth it.

I think parents who let their under age children smoke are idiots. I feel sorry for children with such stupid parents. I think my kids would be pretty disgusted to see that sort of thing too - they are very anti smoking and were very pleased when MLP and I gave up last year.

FedUp
08-02-2009, 12:37 AM
This happened hours ago and it's still bugging me. Smoking is so incredibly unhealthy that I'm almost thinking that ALLOWING your kid to smoke is abuse.

Minnie
08-02-2009, 12:39 AM
I think it could well be termed abuse. At the very least it is incredibly incompetent and negligent parenting.

shuebox
08-02-2009, 12:44 AM
I really don't know what to think. My mom let my friends smoke at our house when I was a teen. Looking back, I think it was a leftover acceptance of smoking in her generation. She was born in 1930 so she grew up in a completely different era in America, when smoking was not taboo, in fact it was an acceptable practice that was not regarded with the ire and disapproval it is today. They were ignorant of the health dangers associated with smoking and being around smokers. Obviously these things were illuminated as time went on, but she remained steadfast in old-school thinking on the matter. She's said countless times that everyone smoked and drank gin and tonics when they were pregnant (!) back when she was pregnant (well before I was born) and no one thought anything of it. I think she was skeptical in that "We all did it when I was growing up and we turned out just fine" sort of way.

She was eventually persuaded by the piles of evidence contradicting her outdated way of thinking and would never tolerate kids smoking today. In fact she'll lecture anyone with ears about how awful smoking is.

She's exceptionally stubborn and slow to accept change, but she is hardly "scum" and worthy of unbridled disgust.

Minnie
08-02-2009, 12:45 AM
I can see it in the past, as you say Rude, but these days? I think these people are just slackarse parents.

Cookie
08-02-2009, 12:49 AM
She's exceptionally stubborn and slow to accept change, but she is hardly "scum" and worthy of unbridled disgust.
Ah, but as you say, she was raised in a different era. Now, there is no doubt whatsoever of the harmful effects of smoke so I stand by my "Scum" definition of anyone who acts the way those parents were acting.

FedUp
08-02-2009, 12:52 AM
I really don't know what to think. My mom let my friends smoke at our house when I was a teen. Looking back, I think it was a leftover acceptance of smoking in her generation. She was born in 1930 so she grew up in a completely different era in America, when smoking was not taboo, in fact it was an acceptable practice that was not regarded with the ire and disapproval it is today. They were ignorant of the health dangers associated with smoking and being around smokers. Obviously these things were illuminated as time went on, but she remained steadfast in old-school thinking on the matter. She's said countless times that everyone smoked and drank gin and tonics when they were pregnant (!) back when she was pregnant (well before I was born) and no one thought anything of it. I think she was skeptical in that "We all did it when I was growing up and we turned out just fine" sort of way.

She was eventually persuaded by the piles of evidence contradicting her outdated way of thinking and would never tolerate kids smoking today. In fact she'll lecture anyone with ears about how awful smoking is.

She's exceptionally stubborn and slow to accept change, but she is hardly "scum" and worthy of unbridled disgust.

Yeah there is a big difference between then and now. We live in a time where we know the dangers of smoking.

I just don't get what the hell would make a parent think it's ok to let their kid smoke! Parents like that generally want to be the "cool" parent and are more interested in being the kids friend rather than an actual parent. I just want to shake parents like that and tell them "Your kid has FRIENDS what he needs is a PARENT!"

I have a 14 year DSD. No way in hell would I let her smoke. If I caught her smoking she'd be in a world of trouble. If that makes me uncool well then I'm cool with that!

kapooku
08-02-2009, 12:58 AM
My mother taught me how.

I think it's disgusting and sad. I can't imagine caring so little about my child's longterm health as to condone, overlook, or encourage cigarette smoking.

shuebox
08-02-2009, 01:23 AM
Ah, but as you say, she was raised in a different era. Now, there is no doubt whatsoever of the harmful effects of smoke so I stand by my "Scum" definition of anyone who acts the way those parents were acting.Oh I know that. I was framing my answer with my mother's lax attitude towards smoking in mind. It is understandably impossible for me to think of her as scum, but I know where everyone is coming from.

I guess I was waxing sentimental over my mom, not thinking outside of my experience with her permissive stance on the issue.

shuebox
08-02-2009, 01:24 AM
My mother taught me how.

I think it's disgusting and sad. I can't imagine caring so little about my child's longterm health as to condone, overlook, or encourage cigarette smoking.:gg

Even my mother didn't take it that far. I'm sorry she saddled you with such a dangerous habit. I can imagine it was difficult to shed that monkey.

ritalouise
08-02-2009, 01:28 AM
Trash, pretty much.

I hope my kids don't decide to smoke. I'm trying everything I can now to deter them, and so far between me and the things they've studied in school, they both think it's disgusting. I'm being completely up front about the fact that I smoked for many years, and the repercussions it had on my health.

kapooku
08-02-2009, 01:38 AM
I can imagine it was difficult to shed that monkey.

Took me a loooong time, but it's been 5 years this month! :woot

justthinking
08-02-2009, 01:47 AM
Interesting this topic came up right now. Several of my friends hosted French high school students for a three week stay last month. I've been looking through pictures of some of the adventures the group took together, and one thing which stood out was the number of French students who smoked cigarettes. It must be more acceptable there--and I'm not willing to write off large portions of the French adult population as scummy parents.

Knowing what I know about cigarettes, I do hope this is one habit I manage to convince my kids not to even start.

fyree39
08-02-2009, 02:19 AM
I think I was 17 and got a carton of cigarettes from my mom for Christmas. :ohmy By then I'd been smoking for 3 years and my parents knew it. Mom was born in 1929 and grew up in a time when smoking was normal and acceptable. Of course, as the years passed she knew she should quit even though she never did. Well, she finally quit when she was admitted to the hospital and never got out.

Today, however, parents certainly know better. Even if the parents smoke, too, I can see bugging the kids mercilessly to give up the evil habit.

Minnie
08-02-2009, 05:43 AM
Interesting this topic came up right now. Several of my friends hosted French high school students for a three week stay last month. I've been looking through pictures of some of the adventures the group took together, and one thing which stood out was the number of French students who smoked cigarettes. It must be more acceptable there--and I'm not willing to write off large portions of the French adult population as scummy parents.

Knowing what I know about cigarettes, I do hope this is one habit I manage to convince my kids not to even start.

Why not (presuming that their parents know, of course)? I mean, yeah, it is more acceptable - but they are still adults with access to the same research we all see - with all the information about the health risks associated with smoking. Why wouldn't they still be crappy parents just because they are French and it's more acceptable for an ADULT to smoke there? Still pretty shitty, wherever you live, IMO. :shrug

Cookie
08-02-2009, 05:45 AM
Why not (presuming that their parents know, of course)? I mean, yeah, it is more acceptable - but they are still adults with access to the same research we all see - with all the information about the health risks associated with smoking. Why wouldn't they still be crappy parents just because they are French and it's more acceptable for an ADULT to smoke there? Still pretty shitty, wherever you live, IMO. :shrug
:iagree

Sam
08-02-2009, 08:12 AM
Someone I know very well was smoking at the age of ELEVEN.. in the home around his parents. That is one year older than my son :ohmy

At 13 he was smoking dope in the home around his parents

At 15 he was drinking alcohol around his parents

At 16 he was an alcoholic

At 19 he is still an alcoholic, smoker, takes lots of drugs :(




I would kill any of mine who came home smoking under age. Eleven?????? who the fuck lets that happen??

Marian Paroo
08-02-2009, 08:16 AM
I had a friend who let her then 14 year old dd smoke on the terrace.

"What can I do?" She would sigh, adding, "just as long as it's not around the cats."

RealCranky
08-02-2009, 08:16 AM
Well, I think it's a lousy idea (and is it even legal in most states?)

However, I think that if the parents are heavy smokers it's pretty hard for them to come out against an older teen smoking.

Cookie
08-02-2009, 09:37 AM
Eleven?????? who the fuck lets that happen??
Scummy parents.

Pokey
08-02-2009, 10:41 AM
.

How would you react if you saw this? What do you think of parents who let their under age children smoke?

I would have been digusted and saddened and probably looked like this. :gg

Linda
08-02-2009, 10:44 AM
You know, my parents smoked most of their lives. My dad quit about a year ago, and my mom quit 8 months ago on January 1st. They were raised in another era too, and it was common and acceptable and all that.

But they have eyes and ears and brains and as the studies and conclusions about its harmfulness have come along, their understanding of the harm from smoking sunk in. Regardless of what era they were raised in, they DID learn that it's a horrible, unhealthy habit that hurts not only themselves but others too.

I can't believe a person in this day and age doesn't KNOW that, no matter what year they were born.

So yeah, in the year of 2009, if any parent passes a cigarette to a 14 year old, I'd find it pretty despicable. If that adult is addicted or struggles with the habit or whatever, I would feel compassion. I know about the stupid struggle, trust me. But passing one to your teen child is just so wrong. I can't find excuses to explain that, there is no "benefit of the doubt" on that one.

FedUp
08-02-2009, 11:12 AM
Took me a loooong time, but it's been 5 years this month! :woot

Yay! I know quitting any habit isn't easy. My Dad smoked at least a pack a day for many, many years. He quit when I was 12 and I was so proud of him. It's been 17 years now and I'm still damn proud of him. His health and the health of everyone in our house improved greatly after he quit.


Why not (presuming that their parents know, of course)? I mean, yeah, it is more acceptable - but they are still adults with access to the same research we all see - with all the information about the health risks associated with smoking. Why wouldn't they still be crappy parents just because they are French and it's more acceptable for an ADULT to smoke there? Still pretty shitty, wherever you live, IMO. :shrug

I agree. Just because it's more socially acceptable in some areas doesn't make it right. Smoking is a dangerous and unhealthy thing to do. No parent should allow their child to do it if they give a damn about the kid's health.


I had a friend who let her then 14 year old dd smoke on the terrace.

"What can I do?" She would sigh, adding, "just as long as it's not around the cats."

:headshake Yes because we all know that cigarette smoke is bad for cats but perfectly ok for humans.

Sprockey
08-02-2009, 11:18 AM
Gross

MissingMinnesota
08-02-2009, 11:20 AM
I think it sucks. My Dad let me smoke in front of him from the time I was 16 on. My mom knew I smoked, but I didn't do it in front of her until I was over 18. I never got into any kind of trouble for it, ever. I wish I would have. They kind of just threw up their hands and decided it wasn't worth the battle. :gg

They are both still smokers. I am not. AFAIK my 15 y/o sister is smoking now too. :sigh

gilamomster
08-02-2009, 11:25 AM
I'd think I would have a hard time not saying anything or even controlling my facial expressions

I would immediately "assume" that these are the same parents that don't enforce seatsbelts, allow their kids to drink and do drugs....and basically take any government, medical advice as a joke.

Jethro Tull
08-03-2009, 04:55 PM
That is disgusting, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been worth it to confront the parents. You know the reaction would just be "Don't you tell me how to raise my kids!!" Better to just let it be, don't let other people bother you.

TheChicken
08-03-2009, 05:00 PM
I was behind a woman that bought a pack of Virginia Slims the other day. They were $8.03. How the hell can kids afford to start smoking these days? :ohmy

Rio
08-03-2009, 05:02 PM
I had a friend who let her then 14 year old dd smoke on the terrace.

"What can I do?" She would sigh, adding, "just as long as it's not around the cats."

So she has more concern for the cats than her child? Nice.

purplekitty
08-03-2009, 05:04 PM
I'd think the parents were ignorant, but abuse? Um, no. Good grief.

Cookie
08-03-2009, 05:05 PM
Took care of a one year old with wheezing last night. The parents reeked of smoke. The doc said, "You know that smoking in the house is bad for the baby, right?" They just looked :bored and said "Yeah."

I want to beat the crap out of the both of them and give the baby to someone who actually gives a damn. :gg

Fanny
08-03-2009, 05:05 PM
Question...is it illegal there to buy cigarettes for minors?

purplekitty
08-03-2009, 05:07 PM
Question...is it illegal there to buy cigarettes for minors?

It's illegal to sell cigarettes to minors, but I don't know of any law that says parents can't buy them for their children.

Fanny
08-03-2009, 05:09 PM
I'm so not a smoker so I don't really keep up with any of it, but I *think* that here, if you provide cigarettes for a minor (IOW, buy them for them), you can be heavily fined. No idea if there'd be jail time for repeat offenders though.

Wonder what I can find on google?

Marian Paroo
08-03-2009, 05:09 PM
So she has more concern for the cats than her child? Nice.

You'll notice the past tense.

purplekitty
08-03-2009, 05:10 PM
I'm so not a smoker so I don't really keep up with any of it, but I *think* that here, if you provide cigarettes for a minor (IOW, buy them for them), you can be heavily fined. No idea if there'd be jail time for repeat offenders though.

Wonder what I can find on google?

Are you asking about parents or just anyone? Because parents can let their minors drink alcohol here, too. But you can't sell alcohol to minors.

Fanny
08-03-2009, 05:17 PM
Trying to get a frame of reference for the tobacco laws there, PeeK. Wondering if buying/providing tobacco to your own underage children would fall under the laws.

I have found this, in regards to here, but it seems to leave it a little loose, IMO.


Q7: Why are parents not held responsible for allowing their children to smoke or for buying tobacco for them?

A7: It is illegal for anyone to provide tobacco products to a minor. This includes parents, relatives, friends or strangers. However, this does not apply in the privacy of their own home.


Q8: If you know a parent is purchasing tobacco products for their child, can you be fined for selling to them?

A8: It is illegal for anyone to provide tobacco to a minor. If a parent is giving tobacco to their own child in their own home, this falls outside the legislation. You will not be penalized for selling tobacco to the adult.

Clearly, as long as they buy it and take it home and give it to the kid, they're ok. Wonder what happens if they buy it at the store, and step outside and hand it to the kid? Wonder if they get nailed then....or if it's the whole "my kid, so it's ok" thing?

purplekitty
08-03-2009, 05:20 PM
Clearly, as long as they buy it and take it home and give it to the kid, they're ok. Wonder what happens if they buy it at the store, and step outside and hand it to the kid? Wonder if they get nailed then....or if it's the whole "my kid, so it's ok" thing?
I'm sure it isn't policed at that level and there's probably differences in laws state to state as well.

MissingMinnesota
08-08-2009, 12:41 PM
Took care of a one year old with wheezing last night. The parents reeked of smoke. The doc said, "You know that smoking in the house is bad for the baby, right?" They just looked :bored and said "Yeah."

I want to beat the crap out of the both of them and give the baby to someone who actually gives a damn. :gg
:( I had pneumonia and bronchitis way too many times as a baby/young child. They decided I was just allergic to the cats in the house though, not the 2+ packs a day being smoked in the house. I think they really regret that now because they didn't smoke so much around my sister.

I still remember getting wheeled into the ER once when I was under 5 and getting a shot of adrenaline (didn't know what it was at the time, obviously) because I was so sick. :gg

FedUp
08-08-2009, 05:36 PM
My brother and I always had colds and stuff when we were little. My dad quit smoking when I was 12. Within months everyone in the house got much healthier. We rarely got sick after that.

EskimoQueen
08-08-2009, 06:02 PM
My cousin has been letting her daughters smoke since they were (out in the open) 11 and 12. Kid you not. This is the same cousin who let the one daughter get pierced all over (I know of 3 not counting her ears which are done multiple times).
Same daughter (she is 16 now) has a live in boyfriend and he's been living with them for over a year, she has dated him for 3 years now. He is 24. Yeah real cool.

I outright told my cousin's kids what I thought of their naughtiness. I told my cousin too... her thought is "well what can ya do?!?" I just want to scream!
I know my son isn't perfect, but if I can stop something... especially something so addicting as smoking... I would. At least forbid it around me. I am allergic to smoke as it is, but I just think it is so wrong.

My cousin and her husband smoke, and buy it for the girls :(